Never a Dull Moment

I Never Wanted Girly Girls

2012-02-12T14:15:00.000-08:00

This video makes me laugh. I have tried so hard to avoid the girly girl princess personalities with my girls. I know, appalling. Anyway, this video funny because we have Sophie singing a disney princess song word for word, with Brielle being a flying unicorn behind her, both girls in their pink shirts. Anyway, enjoy! And please ignore my messy house, we had a busy day that day!

Brielle is FIVE!

2012-02-03T12:33:00.000-08:00

The Things That Matter Most in Life

2012-01-23T22:36:00.000-08:00

Today was a great day for many reasons. One particularly good thing happened today to lift my spirits and guide my mind to what is most important in life. I took Tristan (and the girls) to a pre- surgery appointment. It was a long appointment, lots of talking, going over past tests, lots of questions and lots of keeping the girls away from the box of rubber gloves. At the end the doctor told me that Tristan looks good and that the issues he was having are no longer there. He told me that he didn't feel the surgery was necessary! (The surgery is scheduled for this Weds btw, talk about nick of time!). Though this doesn't answer why he keeps getting infections, it kind of answers why I have felt so uneasy about the surgery. It never felt right and almost felt like the urologist couldn't explain why so he thought he'd just try this surgery on him and see if it helps. Some of it made sense, but in all it didn't explain 1 blood infection, 3 UTI's and 1 skin infection all in his short 5 months of life.

When I got home I felt so grateful. I don't know what it was but I just kept watching my kids and enjoyed them and their moments. My favourite moment today was after Sophie's 5th meltdown she gave herself a timeout in her room. She was supposed to be helping Brielle clean up their toy area, but she just didn't want to do anything she was told today. She doesn't know how to open doors so she stood at her door and screamed. I asked Brielle if she minded opening her door and this is what I hear when she opens it:

Brielle : "Hi Sophs, you sad?"
Sophie: (Still crying) "Yes!"
Brielle: Oh, yea... did you want to come on the couch and have a snuggle with me?"
Sophie: (Still crying) "Yes!!!"

Then I see the two walk into the living room holding hands, Brielle sits on the couch and then pats the couch to motion Sophie to sit down. Sophie climbs up and then lays on her lap. Brielle then starts to tickle Sophie's back. Sophie just lay there calm with the occasional stuttery gasp from her previous cry. It was this tender, sweet, moving moment that just gripped my heart and made my eyes well. I know it sounds cheesy but it will go down in one of my all time favorite life moments. It's these moments I witness of the girls where I miss my sister and wish so badly I cherished her more.

I felt blessed as I was leaving the house to go to my bootcamp today aswell. It has been so nice, Nathanael comes up from work, and usually we both huff and puff about what we should make for dinner. Most of the time I have something going, but if the day is crazy I sometimes leave it up to him. Today was one of those days, and what was so sweet about it was that I was leaving him with it all and he still stopped me before I left, kissed me, told me he loves me, and then I left. He could have easily been justified in being frustrated and stressed because of his upcoming 1.5 hour task with figuring dinner out and somehow keeping 3 kids happy while wife has her "Me" time.

I am making it a goal this year to stop and enjoy these moments more. I know that they won't be here forever.

Too cold to have a fire outside so we improvise! S'mores in the oven!

The sweet moment I was lucky enough to witness

What a great big sister!

Here Tristan, hold still!

Photo Shoot Week!

2012-01-16T12:27:00.000-08:00

This is what happens when it is -20 and we're stuck inside potty training (Sophie). I think they turned out nice. I love the pictures of the girls in front of the window, love that natural light!

The Beginning of 2012!!

2012-01-06T21:31:00.000-08:00

So far, it's been a pretty good year! Which is good because we're only 6 days into it! We have Nathanael back in our lives again and we're soaking in the family time. This year will be a good one I think. I started a bootcamp and am loving it so far. It is VERY hard, but I can feel every sore muscle in my body and know that it is doing something! I turn 30 this April and my goal is to be in the best shape I've ever been. So this is my start! We are planning on buying a house in the next 6-8 months if everything works out. Tristan gets his surgery in a couple weeks and we are praying that that will be the end to all the health issues for him.

So far the kids have kicked the year off with another cold. We don't get sick that much so they just don't know what to do with themselves when they are like this. Today was kind of funny because Brielle asked my permission to take a nap... like when has THAT ever happened? I had a whole hour to myself today because of their naps! Last night Sophie had such a high fever that she just kept falling asleep sitting up on the couch. I felt so bad for her. Hopefully this passes soon and I'm praying Tristan doesn't get the fever or ear infections like the girls. So far he just has the cough.

I'm welcoming this year as my year of health, not only because of the boot camp, but also because I joined a zumba group every thursday morning AND because I got my DREAM blender, my vitamix. I've been making the yummiest smoothies (green ones) every day. I also have had to go off dairy to help with Tristan's skin issues and because of that I have been dropping the pounds and feeling amazing. I have so much more energy and my body feels really good! This might be a permanent thing for me!

I'm excited to see where Nathanael goes with this year. I feel like we just have so many great possibilities awaiting for us. He is doing such a good job with business and especially with the U of C family medicine clinic work. It will be neat to see how all of it comes together.

Okay, I feel lame for ending this so short, but I just wrote three catch up posts tonight and I am SO tired today (kids never sleep well when they are sick!). So off to bed for me. Enjoy the pictures!

Brother and Sister

Brielle "helping" Tristan to smile

Organic, homemade apple juice! (Peels were in this and everything! SO delicious!)

Sick Sophie :( You can see the fever!

5 Month old Tristan

Did you know there is a new sheriff in town?

Showing off his moves to himself (and me!)

Sick Brielle giving herself a nap.

"Hey mom, check this out..."

"Pretty cool hey, you wanna see more?"

I finally have a baby with THIGHS!!

And you thought only boys laid like this

Surprise Party for Nathanael

2012-01-06T21:10:00.000-08:00

I threw a surprise party for Nathanael on New Years Eve to celebrate him finishing his MBA. It was PERFECT! He didn't have a clue and you can tell by what he showed up wearing. Many of his closest friends and his family made it out to congratulate him. One set of our friends live in Edmonton, they switched their flights from the States to arrive in Calgary just to come to the party and then they drove right back to Edmonton right after the party! Many brought good food and the event itself was just so fun! Nathanael's reaction was so cute, he opened the door, everyone cheered and then he walked back out and closed the door. I had to go get him and bring him back. We're grateful for everyone who could make it out to be there to congratulate him and for everyone who also came out to help put it together. It was a great day! Check out the video to see the surprise!

Fooooood

The other Noblets

Nathanael's mom, T, and Katherine

Our amazing neighbors!

Jaana on the left is one of his classmates and the Francis family

SERIOUS conversation going on here :)

Sweetest, kindest, most wonderful family, The Strongs

Our table of buddies!

Part of the Pozzi Clan

Two of his close friend Francesco and Katherine (AKA Yancey)

Cute decorations that kept falling off the wall.

Aaron and Chelsea

This me with Lorenzo... Cuuuute little (BIG) guy!

Neil Pozzi and Nat (and Stratton)

Nathanael and his sister Heidi

Christmas Noblet Style!

2012-01-06T20:45:00.000-08:00

We had a fantastic Christmas this year! One of my most favourites, I think because this was the first year I felt like we were establishing our own traditions as a family. It was also so wonderful because I felt like I really got to know learn and see what a kind, generous and lovely person Brielle is turning into. She blew me away by her selflessness and generousity. She was so eager to give gifts to everyone and watched every moment to see the surprise and excitement on each person's face as they opened their present. There was a moment where it really showed how much she loved to give when she gave Sophie the present she had picked out for her. It was a Hello Kitty ring. Sophie was still pretty tired and grumpy when we started to open presents, so when Brielle gave her the wrapped gift, Sophie threw it. That made Brielle really cry. It was so sad. So I tried to help the situation and opened it to show Sophie. Sophie was still unimpressed and more focused on the My Little Pony she had just received. So she got angry and said she didn't want it (a typical two year old, please don't judge her). Brielle was so torn apart from it. We tried to explain to her that Sophie is so young still and that eventually she will be more grateful.

Still two weeks later Brielle holds onto the ring and reoffers it to Sophie, who everytime refuses it. Brielle just says "I will just hold onto it for when she is ready to like it". It kind of breaks my heart (okay it really does!!!!), but I am impressed with how kind and generous AND understanding she is.

Back to Christmas... we started the day with the kids all on our bed, opened stockings, then got ready, picked up Nathanael's grandma and went to church for an hour. After church we came back and opened presents. Then we made breakfast, played with out new toys and headed off to Nathanael's sister Heidi's house for more family time and Christmas dinner. It was so nice and felt good to be around everyone.

I actually felt sad when it hit January 1st because I just had such a wonderful time and felt so good to be with my family so much.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-23T11:01:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to you and your family! We didn't have the time to do Christmas cards or letters this year so I thought I'd send our love through our blog this Christmas. I'll do a year end wrap up sometime next week, but until then from us to you, we hope you have a joyous Christmas season. Be safe and have fun!

Love the Noblets

Sleepless Nights are my Least Favourite Nights

2011-12-13T22:47:00.000-08:00

An exhausted and sick Sophie sucking back some tylenol. Poor little thing!

I'm not going to lie, the last few weeks have been some of the most challenging I've ever experienced. I have been feeling like walking bad luck, with every day came a new nasty experience. I have done my best to take each experience and find it's positives and lessons in it all, and I think that is part of what has helped me get through this all decently well.

Right now I am sitting here just dreading going to bed. I don't know what happened to my kids in the last month and a half, but their sleeping is horrendous! One night I honestly, no lie, got 40 minutes of sleep total. Nathanael's aunt has come five nights (not all in a row) so far and that has made a world of difference. But tonight she isn't here and I am feeling so anxious about the night. I almost don't want to go to sleep because I am so nervous about it. Tristan has already woken up twice and same as Sophie and they have only been asleep for about 3 hours! I have come to realize that sleep definitely is my greatest weakness. It evokes a sense of panic in me if I don't get enough. The sleep part has been the hardest part for me. Not the sliced ear, sick baby, plugged sink, non working van, sick me, 5 hospital trips, etc. The sleep thing is the hardest!

I'm really only writing this post because I am avoiding it so much!

So here is how I will get through tonight, the same way I have gotten through the last almost 3 weeks... I will prepare for the worst, expect the worst, plan ahead how I will handle the worst, and HOPEFULLY I will be surprised. Then I will work hard in the whole process of it all to find the blessings that lie in mess I am in. I will also remind myself that this will not kill me, and I will most likely come out of it alive and hopefully sane (but alive it my #1 goal!).

Sick Tristan still giving a smile for me! Poor guy got the flu, then got two teeth, then got a nasty rash! He couldn't catch a break either!

I just have to share one thing before I end this and take the dreaded walk to my bed... I mentioned in my last post that my friend Caleb came over to give me a blessing. If you don't understand what that means send me an email and I will explain it to you. But basically in the blessing he said that this whole experience will show me what I am capable of. When I heard that, it sent the opposite feeling of comfort (yea, yea, the word is discomfort, but I didn't want to spell it out because I feel like there had to be a more extreme version of that word out there that I can't figure out). The last thing I want to experience is my ability to handle difficult situations. Can't he just tell me? Seems so much easier and nicer. :)

I suppose it doesn't always work that way, and I know better than to give in to the easy. I have realized that I am so much stronger than I think I am. Not because my kids are still alive throughout this, but because I have been able to continue to learn and grow throughout the challenges. I thought, when it all started, that my only goal was to keep myself and the kids alive. But I realize now that I was giving myself no credit in that goal. I have proven to be so much more capable of more than I realized. I'm grateful for that realization and I think it will be what kicks me in the butt to start moving towards the bigger goals I have in life.

I'm still grateful for all the sweet angels who have been placed in my life. They have come out in full force and are helping more than I could have ever imagined! I really am being watched out for, and so is my family.

We still had some fun!

Nathanael is almost done, he is SO close and I can't tell you how proud I am of him. I've been thinking a lot of me lately and focusing mostly on what I am going through that I have been forgetting this wonderful man and all he must be going through. I hope that by completing this MBA he will also realize how much stronger he is from it. He is a very smart and dedicated man. I am so proud of him.

Lots of love in our home!

K, again I am too tired to read this over so I'm leaving it like this, with spelling and grammar errors all over the place! Thanks for reading!

What a First Week!

2011-12-04T20:58:00.000-08:00

This child has WAY too many scars for her age! I think her feet are too big or something.

Holy what a week! I'm going to do my best to avoid making this post a big whine fest, but I do want to share with you what this last week has looked like.

Nathanael has been gone 9 days now, and it has not been a good 9 days! We all miss him so much, the house just doesn't feel right without him. I think I may miss him the most though! Obviously I miss him so much because I love him and he's gone for a long time, but also, selfishly I miss him because I miss his help! This last week would have been a lot less stressful if he were here!

On Tuesday Sophie set the week off by falling and cutting the edge of her ear open. I had to quickly find someone to watch Brielle and Tristan, and then someone to be on call to pick Tristan up and bring him to me if need be and then I had to get Sophie to the hospital where we waited for 6 + hours ending in her getting 3 stitches.

Then on Thursday the kitchen sink got backed up and it could not be used at all, so I tried everything I was advised to do, to get it unplugged, but nothing worked. It finally got unclogged on friday.

The on Saturday Tristan woke up screaming in pain and had a high fever. I tried to let him ride it out the whole day but it only got worse so I went back to the hospital, this time with just him. We waited 5+ hours and Two attempted catheters later, ended up leaving with him seeming sicker, and no answers.

Today he seemed a bit better, but not by much, his fever went down but then he started throwing up. Then I made this really nice flank steak which had been marinating in the fridge for a day (would have been soooog good! I got it out of the fridge only to discover the fridge door never shut from who knows when and the steak was warm. I get very paranoid from meat so I had to throw it out. The last thing I wanted was for all of us to be throwing up!

So I made these stuffed fish things from my freezer with rice and cucumber salad (which Brielle so kindly made). The fish was AWFUL! We all spat it out when we took our first bite, so dinner consisted of rice, cucumber salad, and gingerbread cookies (don't judge, you have no idea how bad the day was!). And all this happened to me while I have been terribly sleep deprived!

I have been working SO hard to not fall into the "why me" or "why now" stage. Failed a few times, especially after Tristan's hospital trip. But then I realized how incredibly blessed I have been. I left out key details in each of these situations. I have been literally watched over and taken care of by angels this whole time!

When Sophie sliced her ear the first people I called were on their way immediatly to my house to help. Jenny jumped in her car to come watch Tristan and Brielle, and stayed until 1:30am and cleaned my whole house!!!! Cynthia at her phone ready to come to the house to get Tristan. She ended up having to bring him to me, she also brought her ipad and stayed with me at the hospital the whole 6 hours! She took care of Sophie and helped with Tristan. My friend Laura was there when it all happened and took care of Brielle and Tristan while nursed her wound. My visiting teacher Faye and her family coordinated to pick up Laura for me so I could didn't have to drive her home.

When my sink backed up my friend Meg came right over and tried her best to fix it. I think she may have made it worse, but the whole process had me buckled over laughing with her! She totally lifted my spirits that night, I didn't want her to go I had so much fun! Her husband Caleb was on the phone trying to give us instructions, he was even willing to switch with Meg and try to help me even though he was exhausted! Then the next day, Luke came over and fixed the whole thing. He even had to leave to pick up a 25 foot snake to fix it! I also had so many friends writing me messages and giving advice to me on facebook.

When Tristan was sick on Saturday Caleb (who happens to be my home teacher) came over and gave Tristan and I a blessing, then shoveled our driveway. Then Luke and Jenny showed up to drop off a Christmas Tree they had chopped down for me. Then Cynthia showed up with baby tylonel she picked up for Tristan. Then Luke and Jenny took my girls to their house so I could take Tristan to the hospital. I had to drive in a blizzard and on terrible road conditions to get the girls but I was safe and completely protected on that drive.

Today, Sunday, Caleb stopped by to pick up Brielle and take her to church. Then he shoveled my driveway again. Meg brought her home and gave me a hug (which I needed). I came to the point where I realized I was extremely sleep deprived so I called Nathanael's aunt Genvieve to see if she could come help me some time (she lived an hour of town I should add). She told me she'd get back to me, she had a lot going on tonight. She called me right back and said she'd be at my house at 8:30 and would be staying the night. She took the unconsolable Tristan out of my arms 30 minutes ago and now has him fast asleep.

I have had many praying for me, others shoveling my driveway, people dropping off dinners for me, many having me over for dinner and offering to have me over for dinner, people taking my kids to fun events and SOOOO many offering to take my kids and do whatever I need for help.

So yes, it has been REALLY hard, but it has also opened my eyes to the amazing support network I have, and to the many angels Heavenly Father has put in my life. I have friends and family who will be there for me in a second if I need them. So many of them! How did I get so blessed and would I have realized it if all this hadn't happened?? I don't think I would have. I'm sure there is so much more I can and will get out of this, but I am severely deprived of sleep. So I'm off to bed. But I had to share. And if I forgot to mention anyone else in this post I am sorry, I'm so tired. But you ARE appreciated, I promise!

Love to you all!

My good friends Andrea and Patti Hartford took the girls to a Christmas event. They had a blast!

T Minus 28 Days Until Christmas!

2011-11-27T21:58:00.000-08:00

Santa's Little Helper Drooling on the Job!

Are YOU ready? I am! Well almost. We're getting our tree this week (hopefully) and presents are pretty much done! I dislike shopping during the crazy rush of the season so I usually get it all done before the end of November. Usually I do a lot of baking but because of our diet restrictions right now I am holding off on that too (boo). But that just makes it easier for me especially with Nathanael gone for the next three weeks! I don't really have anything to worry about, just keeping me and the kids alive ;) and that is pretty easy most days.

Wishing I could spend Christmas with some of my family this year only because I haven't in quite a few years and I am really missing my sister and that usually pushes me to want to be closer to them all. But happy that all my presents to them have been delivered early (by Nathanael). I know I will enjoy it regardless, I can't wait to watch the girls open presents, this will be Sophie's first year where she gets it! It's going to be a My Little Pony extravaganza! But don't tell the girls that! It will also be the first year we can really implement the traditions we have been talking about for years now that Brielle is old enough to understand. There will be presents and fun, but our hope is to be more Christ focused. We're going to include scriptures and songs and conversations centered around our Savior on that day. It will so nice and so special. I can't wait.

So happy holidays to everybody! Enjoy the season and try not to stress too much, it shouldn't be a stressful time! Love to you all!

Sweet Moments

2011-11-22T07:15:00.000-08:00

Just reminding myself lately to not let the sweet moments pass me by without first recognizing them! I have hundreds of sweet moments everyday and I am so lucky to have them! Here's a few examples of some of the people who create those special moments in my life. I'd have a picture of Nathanael included in here, but unfortunately he has been locked in his office for the last 18 months. He promises to emerge VERY soon though!

Drooling and content as always!

Sophie was up late one night and like this just playing angry birds (she is terrible at the game but loves it!)


Sophie attitude, love that girl!

She's got skills! Amazing fine motor skills!

Tristan chewing on his other Sophie

Brielle in her dress up dress. She's such a doll.

Chubalubalubalubalub.

They're holding hands!


Oh this kills me.

A Few More Cute Kid Sayings!

2011-11-15T15:33:00.000-08:00

Snuggled on the cozy orange shag!

Brielle:

She asked me to help her with a computer game, so I told her if she wanted me to do that then she needed to keep Tristan occupied and happy. She says "I'll read him a book!" I tell her that that is a good idea, then she says: "I know! I have the perfect book! I will read him Humpty Dumpty, that way he learns that when he falls off of something he will break his head open!"

This morning I asked Nathanael to take the kids for the day since I was up all night with the stomach flu. So I was in the tub and I could hear them at the table eating breakfast. Sophie starts screaming and I can hear Brielle making loud growling noises that are clearly what is upsetting Sophie so much. I then hear Nathanael say "Stop bugging your sister!" B: "I'm not!" N: "Yes you are!" B: "No I'm NOT!" N: "Brielle I can hear you making tiger noises to her and it is upsetting her" B: "No I didn't!" ........ then a few seconds go by of silence and Brielle says in a quiet but matter-of-fact voice: "I was a leopard".

I Caught Your BLUFF BABY!

2011-11-10T13:35:00.000-08:00

Tristan is cute, we all know that. He's also a momma's boy already. BUT he's sneaky. Yes I said it: I have a sneaky 3 month old! The little guy has never been interested in taking a bottle. He's decided that he would rather be attached to me (literally) 24/7. This is a problem because, well, I have things I'd like to be doing without children (even cute babies!).

When Tristan was in the hospital we met a nurse who didn't believe that babies don't take bottles. She swore to us that she could tame even the wildest of babies with a bottle. I showed her how he would refuse and then Nathanael showed her that Tristan indeed did not take a bottle. So she pointed her finger towards the door and said "out" with a smug look on her face as if she were going to prove us wrong. So we left.
We came back an hour later at which point she handed us the bottle and said "he's my first and ONLY baby who won't take a bottle". She had been defeated, by Tristan.

Okay so back to almost present time. Tristan is a wicked (good) baby in that he sleeps LONG stretches of sleep each night... we're talking 7, 8, 9 and sometimes 10 hours stretches each night! So last night I was lying in bed and could not stay asleep at 2am because I was so engorged. So I got up to pump, I had about 4oz when I heard Tristan stirring in his bed. I thought I would just see what would happen if I gave him the bottle while he was mostly asleep. Here is how it goes without any Becky exaggeration!

I go in and lift Tristan's head a bit but still leaving him laying in his crib. I put the bottle in his mouth and he accepts it. He starts to gobble it up, first one ounce, then two ounces. I was so excited but I didn't want to wake him up so I stayed still with the bottle in his mouth. I watched his face as he drank and noticed that his eyes were starting to gently flutter open. They opened just a crack as if he were still kind of half asleep and he gazed at me and gave me this goofy grin, and I grinned back, then his eyes closed. It was a sweet moment we shared, that changed all too fast. It was as if when he closed his eyes for that couple of seconds that he all of a sudden thought "WHAT THE..." and his eyes snapped right back open! He stopped sucking. I saw his eyes flick back back at me and then quickly shifted downwards to the foreign object he just realized was in his mouth, then back to me and then just like that "PUH"... out comes the nipple!

I wasn't upset he spat it out, in fact it was more of a "I GOTCHA!" moment! I called him out on his bluff! A little too late unfortunately since I cancelled two big events I was really looking forward to working and volunteering at, but I got him nonetheless! I know and he knows I now know that he takes the bottle! OH THE FREEDOM I CAN ENJOY AGAIN! Hopefully he won't be too stubborn about it when I do make him take it again. But basically expect me to be locked in the house for the next few days hooked up like an engorged Jersey cow pumping away!!!

The End

Just a reminder of how good we had it with Sophie :)

Funny Things my Kids Say

2011-11-08T21:51:00.000-08:00

Brielle:
"Mommy, if you don't like to cook and clean, then why don't you just quit being a mom?"

"Where is the Troll commote?"- Remote Control

"Pasghetti"- I'm sure you can guess.

During a lesson in Primary about humility, Brielle raises her hand and says:
"I can be happy when I mumble" (Clearly she wasn't paying attention).

During another lesson in primary this time about blessings, Brielle gives an example about blessings:
"The time Daddy gave Sophie a blessing so she could poop better" (Sophie was constipated, she needed all the help she could get!).

During a grocery trip in Safeway, 2 year old Brielle points to a woman and says out loud:
"Yook Mommy! A ugly witch!"

Brielle meeting Sophie for one of the first few times (trying to pry her mouth open):
"I want her tongue"

Sophie:

At the hospital visiting Tristan a man working there says to her "Hello there princess!" to which Sophie screams "NO! My name not PRINCESS! My name is FOPHIE!!!" And proceeded to kick the garbage can and then walk off.

Sophie when Tristan was first born:

"Give it to me. I want to hold the Tristan"

To be continued...

Gluten Free/Dairy Free

2011-11-05T22:10:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure where to start on this. I will start with our reasoning...

Brielle has horrible skin. She has eczema all over her body, the worst on her ankles and wrists, but recently it has traveled up her legs, onto her tummy, all over her arms and on her face. This last summer was the worst because it seemed like the sunshine made it more painful. She doesn't sleep because it itches and keeps her up all night. It also makes her very frustrated and interrupts her life so much. I've never seen eczema this bad on anyone before.

So recently I decided to try diet again, but more seriously. We cut dairy in the past and got no results, but did not cut gluten. There is something called gluten sensitivities. It is different than celiac. Basically it is what it sounds like, sensitivity to gluten causing a reaction. You won't hear this diagnosis from a doctor I noticed as most just don't believe in this, but you hear it a lot from naturopaths and such. My sister in law has a gluten sensitivity where she gets eczema when she eats it. My sister had a sensitivity to dairy and meat and she also got eczema as a result of eating it. When both aren't eating those things they have no reactions.

SO, we have cut gluten and been off of it for 3 weeks so far. We plan to cut it for 8 weeks "Gluten (from Latin gluten, "glue") is a protein composite found in foods processed from wheat and related grain species, including barley and rye. It gives elasticity to dough, helping it to rise and to keep its shape, and often giving the final product a chewy texture." (wikipedia).

I have realized that gluten is in so much. Since cutting it, I need to read all the labels to find all the hidden ingredients it could be in. It's also hard because we can't really go out to other people's houses for dinner because most don't know what gluten is or what it is in.

We went again to a naturopath but this time a different one. She suggested we bite the bullet and do an elimination diet where we cut the common allergins, so gluten AND dairy. So that is what we are doing... and like I mentioned before with gluten being in almost everything it feels... well it feels like dairy is in everything else! Haha.

So here is what I have done to make it easier:

Find replacements (So for gluten I found GF (gluten free) flour mixes and all the replacers from different stores. and for Dairy I did the same. I discovered almond milk to be just as nutritious as cow's milk. It is packed full of vitamins and nutrients but not as fattening. I found coconut milk to be more delicious, and fattier but not nearly as many nutrients.

So I replace recipe ingredients with these kinds of things. Sometimes I notice a taste difference and sometimes I don't.

Join Groups: I have joined several and from there have learned how to make this transition easier.

MAKE MEAL PLANS!: This is the key. If I do this, if I have a set breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner plans then it doesn't feel over whelming at all! It also gets me excited to try new foods, many of which I have absolutely loved and some I have definitely not loved!

Be Positive: It's funny, I think more people have a harder time with us doing this diet than we do. I find we are made fun of, challenged and almost kind of put down for doing this. But it is all out of ignorance. I am not sure if this will make a difference, but I believe it is worth a try! So I ignore the negative comments and stay excited about the challenge.

Avoid packaged products: Taco seasonings, seasoned meats, marinated meats, granola bars, packaged nuts, etc, etc. If you read the label it is usually there. So best to assume it's not good unless it comes from a health section where they keep the GF/DF or unless it says so on the label. I have found even the corn based products still contain some sort of wheat in it.

Research before: This is obvious but you can't really take something on confidently unless you have the facts first. I have done lots, but still have a lot more to learn. I think I have the basics though.

That's all I can think of right now (I'm tired!). But so far it has been going just fine. I have been on the diet with the girls as a supporter and at first it was great because I was dropping the pounds! But then when we cut dairy and I discovered my love for coconut and coconut icecream products, well the pounds came back! So I need to be more careful. I have noticed, other than the coconut, that we have been SO much healthier in our meals. We eat more brown rice than white, WAY more veggies and fruit, and our meals contain so much less fat and cholesterol. So I am quite happy with that.

Anyway, not sure what else to write, but that's all I got for now!

Regroup

2011-11-04T12:05:00.000-07:00

The last couple weeks have been bad mom weeks for me. I feel like I am turning into the kind of mom I have never wanted to be. Why is it that it happens that way. I picked specific qualities that a mom should never have and I seem to possess those exact qualities and sometime they come out all at the same time. It's like I have this mean monster inside of me that takes over when I am low on steam.

So the last couple days I have have been putting all three kids down for naps, which I never do, but it is for their own good! And I use the time to catch up on house work or just time for me. Right now I'm choosing to blog. I need to get this out and get back on track.

Nathanael is finishing the final parts of his OMP (Oh! My Project! is what I like to call it). I cannot wait until he is done it. He is SO close to finishing I can see the light and so can he! This part seems to feel the hardest, we are both just so done with this intense school thing! I know we are lucky that it is only for a short period of time unlike a lot of my friend's who's husbands are in med school. I just feel so stretched right now. But still SO thankful he could do this program and that we had the resources to make it happen.

I want SO badly to be the perfect mom for my kids. A mom who gives her complete attention and energy to her children. I would listen to their every word and respond to it all and have conversations with them. I would sit down with them and teach the alphabet and teach how to read. I'd spend time with Sophie and teach her how to use the potty and congratulated her. I'd unplug the tv and throw the plug out. I'd only say positives and leave the negatives to when they absolutely need them. I'd cuddle them up and sing to them. I'd prepare crafts for them every day and encourage them to explore their creativity. I'd have dance parties again. I'd read the scriptures to them every day and talk about them. I'd take them outside and on adventures. I'd build forts in the house and play pretend. I'd hold and cuddle Tristan the whole time without complaining. I would relax if the girls woke Tristan up from a nap. I'd play more kids music in the house.

I'm sure there is so much more. But right now I feel so stuck and unable to do any of those. My kids deserve so much better than this. I'm telling myself that once Nathanael is done school he will be there so much more and that will give me the breaks and time outs I need to regroup more. I can have the time again to keep my house clean and some time for myself. Nathanael will be less stressed too, I can only imagine how stretched he feels right now too. There is no balance in our house right now. But despite that I am still impressed with our relationship through it all. There is so much respect and selfless acts that happen between us. The load we carry is often uneven but we are so good about acknowledging it and thanking each other for it. So for that I am grateful!

I need suggestions on how to get back into the healthy swing of things. I don't know how to peel my tired and worn out self off the couch to be that mom I want to be. I don't expect myself to be able to do everything on that list in one day, but even one or two with the tv always unplugged. I wish I easily had the ability to just ignore my needs and focus on theirs. Maybe that takes time and practice to do that. I don't want to forget about myself, but maybe during the day when I am most involved with them I do.

So tonight I am getting a baby sitter to feed them and deal with bedtimes for them and Nathanael and I are going to go out for dinner. I'm pretty sure I will throw the GF DF diet out the window tonight for myself and eat the gluteniest (what!? You didn't know that is a REAL word??) and cheesiest meal there ever was made, who knows. But some us time will help and one night not having to deal with the meal and bedtime which is my least favourite parts of our days.

I have lined up some help from a young woman for the three weeks Nathanael is gone. She'll come help me for a couple hours 2-3 times a week. It's win win, I get the help, she gets the xmas money!

Anyway, this blog post wasn't anything extravagant, just purely a post for venting and thinking purposes. I'm the kind of person who just needs to talk things out in order to properly deal with them. Some might not understand or agree, but I want my family, especially my kids to always come first. I would have no regrets putting them first and making sure they have the best start to life. Nothing else on this earth is more important to me. So I just need to snap out of this funk.

Thanks for listening.

Opposition In All Things

2011-10-25T22:58:00.000-07:00

My Three Darling, Sleeping Babies :)

It's been a while and I have been wondering what I should write about next. The thought "opposition in all things" came into my mind after my flight home from Victoria last week. I had the worst flight of my life when I flew to Victoria two weeks ago... alone...with the kids. It was the longest hour of my life I think. Sophie, Tristan and I were in the two seats together and Brielle was across the isle from me. The seat in front of me was empty, and the seat in front of Sophie was filled with a lady who I am pretty sure has never met or interacted with a child before. The kids were actually really good. Sophie was a typical two year old though, and was antsy and bored sitting in the same spot with nothing interesting enough to do. She would fidget and twist, and move around, which often led to her kicking the seat in front of her (unintentionally). I never noticed her bump the seat because I was always preoccupied with getting her things to do, keeping Tristan happy, and helping Brielle with whatever she needed. Eventually the lady in front turned around and yelled at Sophie saying "STOP KICKING MY SEAT!". This obviously made Sophie mad (you know Sophie right???). So she did what Sophie does and did the opposite of what she is asked. She looked the woman in the eyes and booted her seat.

I appologized to the lady and then asked Sophie nicely to stop kicking her seat, and then immediatly found some sort of distraction. No more issues... or so I thought. The distraction only lasted about 1 minute before Sophie started fidgeting and playing with the table tray, which I guess you can feel from the other side? "STOP IT!" I hear again... I swear it came out as a snarl like a rabid dog... or maybe I'm exaggerating that part?

I try to explain to Sophie what is happening when she plays with the tray, but she's not getting it, so I offer the lady the empty seat in front of me with the promise that I won't kick her seat. "NO" she says, "this is the seat I was assigned, this is where I stay". What an argument right? Like how do you possibly argue with THAT? (insert eye roll).

She asks me to just stop my child from kicking her seat (because apparently that is easier than moving over one seat). I explain to her that Sophie is only 2 and how hard it is for 2 year-olds to sit still. She retorts "I have a bad back". I then ask her how she expects me to do that, while motioning to my other two little angels in addition to the third kicking her seat. She just huffs and turns around. Then two seconds later screams at Sophie again "STOP KICKING MY SEAT!" (I swear she didn't even kick it at this point!). I say to her, "Okay so we have one more option then, because yelling at my two year-old is not going to work for me or her... I can A: get mad at her and tell her to stop and hold her down for the hour, at which point I guarantee she will scream until the plane lands... or B: let her fidget and try to control it as much as I can. Option A gives you a comfortable but loud ride, B gives you an uncomfortable but quiet ride. You choose. She turned around and said nothing, until she exits the plane and mumbles something to her partner about this lady with three kids not understanding what birth control is (my mom was right there hearing this, praying she wasn't referring to me).

It was so stressful. I remember the whole time thinking of all these mean things I could call her, because I felt justified in it. I also wanted to cry at that point. Part of me did feel bad for her. I knew that if I had no kids and no understanding of kids, this would drive me bonkers too!

I DREADED the flight home. I spent the whole week in Victoria worried about it and how I could make it less awful. I even had nightmares of a plane full of nasty, childless business women (not that I have ANYTHING against business women, they just happened to be the people I dreamt about).

But the flight home was nothing like I'd imagined it be. The ride to the airport was quiet and nice. A kind friend agreed to drive me and the kids to the airport and even got our bazillion bags and carseats and kitchen sinks to the check in. The check in was smooth and the kids were cooperative and happy. Even waiting for the plane was nice. An older lady asked if she could play with my kids to which I replied "HECK YES!".

We got on the plane and got buckled in. I started my breathing/relaxation exercises I just made up. A kind man came to Brielle and said "Hi, my name is _____ and it looks like I'm your seat buddy, whatcha got there? Can I draw a picture with you?". My jaw dropped and then I let out a big THANK YOU to you-know-who up above. Then this sweet couple came to sit behind us. The lady said "Oh wow, have you ever got your hands full! I've been there, if you need anything let me know ok? I love to hold babies!" I wanted to kiss her, in a non sexual, weird, creepy way. Okay there is no such thing... but there has to be because I really did.

The flight was perfect. Sophie wiggled and chatted, and laughed and kicked the empty seat in front of her (the ONLY empty seat on the plane... I swear there should have been a ray of light shining on that empty seat with a sign that said 'kick me', heehee). Brielle drew monster pictures on napkins for her seat buddy, and Tristan slept. It was heavenly as far as plane rides go! When we landed everyone congratulated me on producing such angelic children and asked me how I did it (not the producing part... that be awkward...). I felt like wonder woman! It was so refreshing to see such kind, supportive and lovely strangers.

I wondered after the flight that if I hadn't had such a terrible experience on the first flight, if I would have appreciated the second flight as much as I did. And that thought makes me wonder if I really appreciate all the blessings that I experience every day in my life? I know that when bad things happen, sometimes I realize how good I normally have it. Like when I have the flu, I realize how much I take my normally healthy body for granted. Or when Nathanael leaves on a work trip, and I am all alone day and night with the kids, I realize how much that man does for me, for us.

I really, truly am blessed and I would easily go as far to say I am grateful for the challenges I have experienced and have yet to experience in my life. I know the trials are there for reasons, sometimes to teach us, sometimes to makes us grateful, and sometimes for reasons we may just figure out after we go. Some challenges seem to be more than we could possibly bear, and get us to the question "why me". But I am starting to ask myself "why not"? If it gets me to a place one day where I can see what I truly do have, then why not? I know that leaving this earth is not the end, and I believe that all things will come together and make sense one day. So for now I will ride through the punches and walk through some thorny patches if it gets me to my end goal.

I love my life and am grateful for it. And in case you are wondering... I wouldn't change a thing about it, because there is always a reason behind every part of it.

You Should Know... I am Famous.

2011-09-27T22:09:00.000-07:00

And bored... apparently.

Just Checking In

2011-08-18T06:09:00.000-07:00

So we are on day six of our time in the Alberta Children's Hospital. I feel like I should start a tally chart on the wall like they do in prison, but maybe that's a little extreme. Sometimes it does feel like prison in here, but I bring that on myself since I am not too interested in leaving our room (I am so scared of all the germs and contagious things Tristan could pick up right now).

We still have another 10 days in here before we can go, but the good news we've received yesterday is that now that he has the picc line, we can go on passes in between antibiotic doses! It will be so nice to go home even for an hour or two and spend some time with the girls.

Today Tristan has his (hopefully) last invasive procedure done. He gets his VCUG done. Basically it is a catheter inserted and then a dye put inside his bladder to see where the fluid goes. If it goes up into his ureters then we know he has reflux. At least that is how I understand the test to be. Sophie had it done when she was one. I have a strong feeling that Tristan does have reflux, like Sophie did. They told me that if he does, they will wait a while before they will do surgery since he is still so little. They treated Sophie so well when she had hers that we don't feel too worried about it. And after everything we just went through with all of infections he's been fighting, this reflux thing should be a piece of cake!

Tristan is a tough little guy. It has been nice in a way, that I could have all this one on one time with him since he was born. The first 2-3 weeks of his life we had both my mom and Nathanael's mom here to help with the girls, so I got to spend a lot of time with Tristan as a brand newborn. Now we have another two weeks together (I hope he doesn't get sick of me!). It's been nice. We have really connected and I am just amazed with this little guy.

I really miss the girls though. Yesterday they came in to visit us and I felt like I hadn't seen them in ages. Brielle looked so tall to me and Sophie could speak so many words! I know it hasn't been that long, but even before the hospital I really didn't spend much time with them, at least compared to the 24/7 I felt I spent before. I can't wait to get home and be with them again. They have sooo much energy and man those girls can be loud, but it is so good and refreshing! Especially being around so many sick kids here in the hospital, when I see my girls, so healthy and happy and full of life, it just feels so good. We feel blessed for the healthy kids we have.

Anyway, this has just been a random blurb of stuff I wanted to get off my chest. It's 7am and Tristan just fell back to sleep so I should take advantage and go back to sleep myself! Thanks for reading.

Summer Summer!

2011-08-04T21:22:00.000-07:00

I am finally feeling back to my old self again! I get so impatient after having babies, I just want to recover and get on with life right away, but it takes a little while. I feel like I took a beating from this baby, my whole body was aching for over a week. Even my jaw and wrists hurt... weird. But now that I am feeling good and have more energy, I am wanting to take advantage of the rest of this summer. I want to go on little trips with the family so it feels like we had somewhat of a vacation. We've been doing little things here and there, like a small trip to Kananaskis, trips to parks, and we're hoping to take a drive out to Drumheller next week and then maybe a beach day at Sicome Lake.

Tristan has been a dream in the car and on our trips out anywhere. Today I took the kids to Riley park and we spent 4 hours there (I had the help of my Mother in Law THANK GOODNESS!), but Tristan had a long nap through most of it. It was so great!

Anyway, I need to go to bed and hopefully get a few stretches of sleep tonight. Here's some pictures to make you smile, they make me beam! (I realize there aren't many of Brielle in here (or me I suppose)... she's not as interested in the camera lately... I need to work on that with her!).

Thanks for reading!

Becky

The husband... best lookin' guy I know! This picture makes me want to give him a big KISS! I'm gonna do that right now!

AND look! He's good with children! He can soothe even the wildest of babies!

Cute little Sopherson trying to take a picture of herself. Vain at a young age... so proud!

Nanie with her girls. I don't know what we will do when she leaves... feed ourselves and hopefully survive?

I think this picture is cute.

Buddies.

Tristan's first car ride.

Hehehe, I'm sorry but I couldn't help myself... this bathing suit CAN'T be comfortable!!

Isn't she beautiful?

Smiles at 4 days old.

Sophie and Daddio!

Aww the rare sibling shot! Sometimes they do get along really well!

The girls in their ballerina dresses my mom got for them. They kept them on the whole day!

Dear Tristan,

2011-07-24T18:29:00.000-07:00

Our son! Our sweet little boy who came into this world only 4 days ago. You are the perfect addition to our family! I am both dreading you growing up and looking forward to seeing who you are going to become. I want to keep you small and needing me forever, but I also want to know what interests and personality you will have. You look just like your father (you lucky boy!:)). I feel so complete with you in the family. I want you to know that you have always been so wanted in our family by each member, even before I became pregnant with you!

On the day you were born, it was a cool and cloudy day. The days before were hot and exhausting for me, so I was happy to have you on a mild day. On the day you were born, I woke up ready to have you. I met with Nadine, (your midwife who delivered you) and she had me drink a concoction to help encourage you out! It was not such a good tasting drink, but I felt so heavy with you in me and was so desperate to get you out and meet you that I would do anything!

After I drank the second cup of that lovely concoction labour kicked in an hour later (about 2pm). As soon as I knew I was in labour with you, I knew I needed support, it was intense from the beginning.

The midwives came right away, checked me after a bit and told me that I was 9cms. I should have been happy to hear that, but the contractions were too much for me that I just desperately wanted you out! Eventually I just felt like I couldn't deal with it anymore and started pushing before I really felt I should, and after 10 INTENSE minutes, you arrived! I had you in our bathtub, which is where I had Sophie. This time I didn't find it as helpful though with pain management, but it was still nice to be there when I had you, it seemed like the gentler way to have you come to the world. The amazing thing is that you came out still enclosed in the sac you were in in my tummy. I don't think my water ever broke!

As soon as they put you onto me, the deal was to have Daddy announce your gender, but Daddy took too long so I did it :). Then we had Laura (our Doula and good friend) cut your cord.

Those first moments with you were so lovely. I had a rush of thoughts go through my mind, mostly how I am going to have to learn to have a boy. But as the hours and days have gone by I have realized that it won't be so hard, you are such a sweet little boy already and I know that we will just grow with you.

Our little Tristan Nathanael, we love you so much. Life has felt blissful with you in it. Your sisters adore you, and so does your whole family. Thanks for coming into our family. I promise to always love you no matter what!

This is Mommy the day you were born. I was the biggest with you than I was with your sisters.

Your first bath!

Daddy never gets to hold you because everyone else is fighting to hold you, so he always loses :(

I'm in love!

Yawning with your sister Sophie.

So cute!

You love your Daddy!

Brielle LOVED you the moment she met you, actually she loved you when you were in my tummy, she'd blow raspberries on my tummy and you'd kick hard! She'd always giggle from that! She is always begging us to let her hold you and when she does, she showers you with kisses and sings you songs.

Introducing.......

2011-07-20T20:22:00.000-07:00

I wish I could say his name, but we haven't settled on one yet! AGH! But for now, Baby Boy Noblet! He came fast, very fast... It took me about 2 hours and 45 mins of active labour... before that it was easy... but those almost 3 hours were VERY, VERY intense! I knew he was going to be big because the labour just felt so much different than the other two. He is 8lbs 9 oz which is ginormous for us! I will post more about it later, I'm wiped and drained, here are some pictures for now... he's a cute, healthy little chubbo baby, just what I had hoped for! For now we'll call him Bruiser because he came out bruised in the face like he got in a bad fight (he sorta did since I forced him out) and he is gigantic to us! We'll give you more info very soon! We're very excited and VERY happy to have our little boy.

Our New Addition!!!

2011-07-14T19:14:00.000-07:00

Okay, the title is misleading, but I said in my last post that the next post will be the announcement of the baby and I just can't come through with that since it is apparently too comfortable to come out into the world yet. SIGH. So this will have to do for now. We bought our first minivan this week!

Two weeks ago we both had the same realization that we were running REALLY short on time and we needed to figure the car situation out stat! So Nathanael was scrambling, trying to find the right van for us. We stuck to a budget, knew kind of what we wanted and he looked and looked. It was a little stressful with him doing his school and work at the same time, but on monday we found our van! We honestly were just hoping for a good running base model van and we found one in the colour we wanted and with all the coolest features you could have in a van!

It has...ahem... leather seats, heated seats, a DVD player, power doors (that's right, I push a button and the door opens and closes, how lazy is THAT?!?), stow and go seating (which I discovered could fit Sophie in the stow and go part comfortably, so during tantrums... voila! no more Sophie!!! Just kidding... sorta), tinted windows, a sunroof, and a whole bunch of other stuff I don't really know how to use! It looks like a spaceship inside! I will eventually need to figure all the buttons out.

It has a name, Mr. Green Gas. Don't ask. Nat thinks it is hilarious... I just humour him by smirking and fake laughing. But it isn't funny.

Anyway, we're proud owners of our new van and the kids LOVE it! They were so eager to get their seats in it. I LOVE the space and all the fun things we have in it! So practical and will make life a lot easier! Traveling will also be so much more enjoyable now. We're so lucky!!! I promise to post every milestone our new addition has... in full detail (first oil change, tire rotation, windshield replacement)... won't THAT be exciting! (okay I won't).

The Waiting Game

2011-07-07T14:16:00.000-07:00

So we are a week and a half away from the estimated due date of Baby #3. Which pretty much means that any day now this little babe is going to arrive! I have been keeping really busy every day, getting Brielle to and from her art class, keeping the kids entertained in this hot heat (I'm not complaining at all, it is sooo nice!), and keeping the house up so that when it happens I have nothing to worry about. I feel like I have almost everything checked off my official "nesting" list. I think that as soon as those last couple things are done, I will probably go into labour. I'm hoping it is in the next few days and I am PRAYING it is during the day or early evening. I am not a fan of being woken up from sleep and then missing 24 hours of it. I know, I am expecting too much.

Either way, looking back through this pregnancy, I will admit that it has been a pretty good one: no morning sickness, comfortable and happy. Nearing the end I have had some issues with nerves and back pain, but nothing significant. I feel pretty good right now, can tell that baby is down low and ready to go! So I say BRING IT ON! :)

The next blog will be purely dedicated to new baby Noblet... Boy or Girl? We shall see! Here are a few pictures my friend took of me while on a photo date the other night. Prepare to see some BIG belly!

Go Nat, GO!

2011-06-26T19:08:00.000-07:00

Sitting here on the couch across from Nathanael and I'm cheering him on in my head. He's finishing his last paper for this semester. I can tell it is not going well because of the occasional grunts and sighs and the sort of angry "I hate you" face he is making at his laptop (not to me). He only has 1,500 words left to type and then he can go to bed and have a nice 2 week break from school. Also, this next semester that is coming up in July will be his last official semester of classes and then he works on his OMP- Organizational Management Project... or as I like to call it "OH! My Project!". (It's easier for me to remember).

He's done so well and I am so proud of him. I am hoping the last semester is a good one and not too stressful with the new baby and all. And I tell myself and sometimes him (since we rarely have time to even talk to each other anymore) that if we can get through this, we can get through anything.

Anyway, that is what is going on. He's making papers and I'm making a baby... I wonder who's is more difficult (say mine and I'll be your best friend!). Just kidding, NOT a competition... but I will say that mine is harder on the back. His is harder on his eyes... (remember the gross red, swollen eye issue? YUK!).

That's all for this week. Peace Out.

Signed:

The Big Momma

A Bit of my Hobby

2011-06-11T22:44:00.000-07:00

Now that it is finally spring... or is it summer now... it's hard to tell, Calgary weather is so hormonal. Either way, now that it isn't -20 and snowing all the time, I have been able to jump back into my hobby. It's funny how it happened because as soon as it warmed up, I had people calling, asking if I could take their photos. It is flattering to me, but also nerve wracking. Lately it has been grad photos which is new to me, but has been so fun! It has been raining every time I have done it, so it made it hard to be creative with posing and such, but I think they turned out pretty good! Anyway, I don't normally share these kinds of photos because I feel a little self conscious, but I kind of like these and feel good about them, so feel privileged (just kidding). One thing I realize from all this is that photography can be a lot of work and require A LOT more time than people think. It's not just about snapping the photo. I have a lot more appreciation for the photographers in my life. You know who you are!

Noblet Family Going Onssss

2011-06-10T19:17:00.000-07:00

The Noblet family get-togethers happen most frequently when a new little bebe is born. My neice Aria was born in April, so we have been having frequent gatherings with the whole family. I've posted some pictures of two of our gatherings, the first is a family picnic we had last sunday at Riley Park. It was a perfect and hot day! The other was the "low key" party Lizzy and Reuben put on for Eli's 2nd birthday. At least I was under the impression it was going to be low key. When I stepped in their house I was in shock! Lizzy is the most talented party planner, I think it is impossible for her to not go all out on a party. There were so many cute decorations everywhere, fun little games, a beautiful jungle cake, and a professional face painter! It was so fun and all the kids had a blast! Kind of made me feel bad for the no party and rice crispy cake for Sophie's birthday, haha. I feel like I never see any of the family anymore, and we all live in the city (except for the parents), so this has been nice to see them all again, and more often than normal. Anyway, enjoy the pics!

Baby Belly Progress

2011-05-29T16:33:00.000-07:00

Here's some stuff on baby #3. I had a dream the other night that I had this BEAUTIFUL baby boy. I named him a very interesting name, I can't remember what I named him but it was after a vegetable. I can only imagine it was strange, but that is typical of pregnancy dreams right? I promise NOT to name my child after a food.

Patience has not been my strong point, and so I am struggling with the thought that I still have two months left. The house is pretty much ready for the little one, and so am I. I know it will be hard when it arrives because Nathanael will be busy with school and work, but I just want to meet it and see what it is and what it looks like.

Here's some pics of Baby progress. I am definitely bigger this time around, maybe wider is the word... the result of over indulgence due to the over use of the term "pregnancy cravings". There has been ZERO self control involved in this pregnancy. Here's to hoping it's a fat baby so I can come out of it skinny (I know, VERY wishful thinking)!

The first is at 21 weeks, the next is 27 weeks and the rest are from today at almost 33 weeks. Only 7 weeks to go!

Some Days Are Just so AGHHH...

2011-05-24T06:34:00.000-07:00

It's not that bad, it really isn't... but sometimes it feels unbearable. As a mom I get to experience the most rewarding of moments and also the most challenging. I find the biggest challenge in experiencing the hard times is finding purpose and patience throughout it all.

We have been trying to completely cut Sophie's bottle because she depends on it too much. We knew when she was a baby that we were choosing a difficult habit for her to have. Since a newborn she has always gone to bed like a dream, and as an older baby it was due to us giving her a bottle to bring to bed. But now it is making things worse and so it is time to cut it. It got to the point where one night she was up screaming bloody murder. When I got to her room thinking something was terribly wrong, she stopped screaming, didn't even lift her head up, just reached her arm up over to me (without looking at me) and said "Mo, muk", handing me the bottle. I was NOT impressed!

So now she has a sippy cup of milk she drinks before bed, and then we put her in bed at which point she starts SCREAMING and flailing everywhere. In order to make this work better for us, I have had to cut her naps so that she is tired enough to only scream for a minute or two and fall asleep due to exhaustion.

So last night Sophie went to bed like that and it was fine, but then she woke up at around 11:30 and screamed for about 3 hours. She was screaming so loud and in such a tone it took all that was in me not to go in an make sure she was ok. I knew doing that would prolong the process.

Both kids woke up 6:45am this morning which was just super and proceeded to be crabby and give me attitude the whole time... well actually that was just Sophie. Brielle has been pretty good but just hyper and a bit demanding.

I have a doctors appt. for both of them at 10:30am, then Brielle has her clay class and I have to keep Sophie occupied in that boring building for an hour during that. Then because my midwives screwed up so bad last week, I have to wait until my appt for that at 3:20. I will be stuck on crowchild in major rush hour with the two tired and crabby girls on the way home and I am pretty sure I will be choking back tears the whole time, due to frustration, hormones and sleepiness. I probably shouldn't work myself up like this, but I just feel like it.

Anyway, think hopeful thoughts for me please. Pray my kids survive me today. :)
Here are some cute pictures from the weekend at Callaway Park. It was a sort of birthday thing for Sophie. I made little cake pop chicks for her. She had a blast one the rides, especially the boat ride. Brielle was in her dream land there, she adores Callaway. Oh and the great thing was that is was a nice 23 degrees out that day, pretty good for a May Long Weekend!

Just Stuff.

2011-05-21T20:59:00.000-07:00

Someone explain to me why this always happens to me... I was completely wiped from the day today and ready to go to bed at 4pm. The evening dragged on and once we got the kids to bed I was so ready to go to sleep. I decided 7:30pm was too early, so I got our clothes ironed and the diaper bag ready for church tomorrow. It is about 9pm and I realize that I can leave everything else to another time, but I just don't feel like sleeping. So I work on some photos and decide to blog and what time is it? 10pm. I need to go to sleep but now I don't want to...bad Becky.

There isn't anything particular that I want to say in this, I just wanted to share some sweet moments from recent. I love the changing season, it's funny that we really have no spring in Calgary. It goes from winter to summer, just like that. Seriously, three weeks ago we had snow covering our lawn and today I got a sunburn. My kids are loving being outside, playing in the backyard, riding their bikes, and just enjoying the warmth. I love it too. It gives us so much more to do now and I feel like there is so much more to look forward to when the weather is the way it is.

Two days ago it rained and Brielle begged Nathanael to make paper boats with her and float them down the stream down our side walk. Nathanael was working hard on building the dam to make the stream big enough to float the boats when Brielle shrieked! She found an earth worm. She picked it up and ran it over to Nat demanding to know what it was. After that, the paper boats were old news and Brielle was scrambling to pick up the dozens of fat and juicy earthworms laying on the wet pavement. It was cute to watch... her... not the earthworms. Yuk. And amazing to believe that no worms were harmed in the process. She packed our garden full of them that day... here's to a healthy garden this year!

My dad comes this week to help me get the bunk beds painted and the rooms moved around to get ready for this baby. I am definitely starting to nest already as I have taken on projects just to prepare for his trip! My room is moved around and the space is made for when little one joins us. He/she will be sleeping in our room for the first 5ish months of its life, until we can get Sophie ready to share a room with Brielle and sleeping in a big girl bed full time.

About Sophie, I feel bad because it seems like I always talk so bad about her. I will admit, this attitude and scream of hers can really get to me, and especially when it goes on for hours without any break. But I do actually, mostly, find it to be entertaining. She is hilarious!!! I can see her really working the attitude in her face and body. She literally pops her hip to one side, crosses her arms, grunts, pushes her lips out, and GLARES! Such effort, but apparently she feels it is getting a point across. I know she will calm down eventually and that right now she is trying to stand her ground, as well as express herself, so I am going to try REALLY REALLY hard to stay patient through it all.

I feel like I could write things down forever, but I am going to be strong and go to bed. No more procrastinating from the good stuff. I remind myself every night that I need to be a good mom, so I go to bed early, and it is true! I am such a better mom to these sweet girls when I am well rested. I am a big jerk face, cranky pants when I don't get enough sleep and my girls definitely deserve better than that! So goodnight and thanks for reading (I actually don't know if anyone regularly reads my boring posts, but that is okay, I really just do it for therapeutic reasons :) ).

Happy Birthday Sophie!!

2011-05-17T18:51:00.000-07:00

It is hard to believe that she is already two years old. I know I am going to sound like a cheesy mom here but, seriously... it feels like yesterday that she popped into the world with her high pitched scream! Tonight I was looking at her and it really hit me that she was two. She not a baby anymore, she is turning into a little girl.

Nathanael would agree that life just wouldn't be right without her in it. She's been the perfect addition to our family and provides so much love and laughter to it. She is firey and strong willed, but we never expected anything less from our children! :)

We love Sophie so much and we are so proud of the sweet and strong girl she is becoming. Even now when she throws a massive tantrum and stomps her way to her room, she will always come to us for a reassuring snuggle after saying "Sowy Mommy, Sowy Daddy".

Happy Birthday to our sweet little Sophie!!!

Hotter Days Means More to Do!

2011-05-15T19:35:00.000-07:00

It is amazing how much the sun can boost a mood! Three weeks ago we were still in hibernation, just waiting, hoping, PRAYING for the snow to stop falling and melt! As soon as the sun started to pop out and the snow melted off the side walks, we were OUT! We have been taking full advantage of even the tiniest amount of warmth the sun gives us! It has been so nice and I have been feeling so happy because of it! I'm hoping the sun helps me to have less of a desire to bake so many goodies all the time and use that time to get some more exercise!

So here is a little peek into the latest of what we've been up to. Loving life....

Yes, I let her play in the mud... and this is before all the snow had even melted! It's just what you do in Calgary!

Look who came to visit! My dear friend Lizy! We just never seem to take good pictures, age has not helped either, neither has pregnancy and my double chin.

We take full advantage of sunny days! Like mother, like daughter... I have taught her well.

Sophers showcasing her new attitude!

After a long day and some sleepless nights.

Nothing is more fun than playing with Dad!

Feeling sick after her shots.

This is how we roll in our house!

Hats from Nana.

Best buds.

The Easter Bunny Arrived!

2011-04-23T17:33:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter! We have been surprised... err, I mean blessed with beautiful sun-shiny weather this weekend and we took full advantage! The Easter Bunny showed up at our house this morning and left a couple baskets full of goodies for Brielle and Sophie and then "pooped" out a bunch of eggs all over our yard... about 150 of them. So naturally I called on the family to help retrieve the rabbit eggs from all over our yard. We had all my nephews (and even my brand new niece) as well as Nat's cousin Luke and Jenny and their 3 kids show up for the egg collecting mission. The kids were thrilled, I think the parents were concerned about the amount of chocolate intake... but whatever, everyone had a great time!

We followed the hunt with a delicious brunch which consisted of french toast (for the kids) and homemade eggs benedict for the adults! After everyone visited for a while and some took off, we went for a nice long walk to all the local parks with Luke and Jenny Smith and their kids. We had a blast, knew it was time to head home when Brielle peed her pants because she was having too much fun and couldn't be bothered to find a toilet :).

Tomorrow is supposed to be even warmer and we are looking forward to spending it with all the family and relatives who live in Calgary and area. Can't wait for more delicious food and great company!

Brielle checking out her new bunny!

Sophie with her new chicken! - There was no finishing breakfast after she got that chicken.

Waiting for the hunt to begin- notice Sophie's excitement.
Now notice her disinterest. Let the games begin!
Corban got it at first, but then turned it into a game and started throwing the eggs at his mom.

Porter taking this egg hunt VERY seriously.

Every branch had to be moved, this bunny was clever!

Sophie didn't want to miss a beat, she had to get every egg!
Brielle definitely found the most eggs, I had to dump half of her eggs at one point so she had room for more!Liz and Eli on the hunt.
Once he figured out that the eggs were stuffed with chocolate he was distracted.

I love this picture so much, but sad her eyes/face isn't in focus. She was swinging at the time I took it, so it was hard to get the right focus.Pure joy when she is on a swing!
Beautiful Jenny and Baby Adalia.
Not gonna lie, I put this up because I thought it looked so good. Haha. But I took this on our walk and love how reflective her eyes are. If you click on the picture you will see me in her eyes.

The MBA is Assaulting my Sweet Husband

2011-04-19T19:10:00.000-07:00

Poor, poor Nathanael. I can't believe how hard the guy works. He gets up, goes to work at 9am until 5pm, comes up and helps with the kids for an hour or two, then goes back downstairs, and works on school until between midnight and 2am some nights. He is exhausted physically and mentally. He is doing so well, but it is really wearing on him.

What has been happening lately is that his eye has become very irritated and red when he doesn't get much sleep. It has progressed to swelling and bothering him to the point where his vision is becoming impaired. After many visits to the doctors all that can be determined is that it is due to the combination of no sleep, constant staring at the computer screens, and stress.

At one point I got mad at him because from the angle I was looking at him, it looked like he was glaring at our friends for a long time, but then I quickly realized that it was just because of his poor swollen eye.

It has since gotten better after I made him take the day off from work and school. He got to sleep, and was banned from the computers. He did well with that. :) So without further ado, here is a picture of MBA student husband (I made him make it look like a mug shot because I thought that be funny).

Life

2011-04-17T19:24:00.001-07:00

It's not hard to see what we have if we just open our eyes. But why can it be such a challenge to do just that? It's weird how even the most trivial of issues or setbacks can send us in a major loss of perspective.

I find in my life that it is often the mislabeling of wants and needs. The things I think I need SO badly are just vain wants that mean and matter nothing. Why can't I just open my eyes and really see what it is that I have. I have SO much. So much life in my life that I need to be more aware and grateful for. It's not what we have, it is who we have that makes life worth living.

My goal this week and for now on, open my eyes. Feel the life that goes on around me and enjoy it, and be so thankful for it.

My Little Dancing Monkey Butt!

2011-04-16T18:15:00.000-07:00

Monkey butt... I know, not the sweetest nickname to give your child, but it just fits. Anyway, Brielle had her first dance class, and I have to admit, the whole time I was pressed against the glass staring at her and ooo-ing and aww-ing. She was so cute, and might I add the best dancer in the class. Haha, just kidding, but she was the best listener and the one who copied every instruction her teacher gave to her. She just loved it and wanted to do it perfectly. The class is called "Happy Feet and Tapping Toes". It's a beginner class that just teaches the very basics of dance and lets the kids express themselves through music. She can't wait until her next class... and the same goes for me! I'm the proudest mom around with this kid (well I should say, both my kids... I am sure I am going to be just as crazy when Sophie enters her first class of some sort)!

OH and PS, I should add that we didn't have time to pick her up some leotards so she looks a little half naked... but she felt pretty and that is all that matters! We have since picked some up.

Prayer by Brielle

2011-04-13T08:34:00.000-07:00

It was Brielle's turn to give the closing prayer on Sunday in primary and one of the teachers told me that her prayer was so cute and special so I should record it, so I did, and thought I should share. It was cute because she was SO excited to say the prayer and also very cautious to not ask to bless the food in this prayer as that is what she always asks for regardless of whether there is food in the vicinity. :)

Dear Heavenly Father,
Please bless the............. Primary.
Help us to be Thankful.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Sweet, simple and to the point.

The Interesting (and not so interesting) Things We're up to

2011-03-15T20:47:00.001-07:00

Winter sucks and I like nothing about it. The only time I am excited in winter is when it starts to warm up and you realize it is almost over! This week is the first time I am feeling that! We took the girls for a walk yesterday to jump in puddles and then a bike ride today. It felt so good to not be bundled up, or have to bundle them up. All I had on was a t shirt and a light sweater over top... ok obviously that isn't all I had on.
I have been so into making meal plans to save us the hassle of planning a meal last minute and to save us some money. So I have been experimenting with different recipes and having fun with that. I love baking and I am getting into cooking a lot more... it's hit or miss in the taste department, but at least I am trying!

(Made from scratch potstickers... 80 of them!)

Nat is barely ever around, the poor guys eats, breaths and sleeps his work and school. He's doing so well and we are so proud of him, we just really miss him. When he is around he makes the most of it, and so do the girls! He still wins the Best Dad Ever award.

Spring is on its way, I'm opening the windows to breath in the warmer, fresh air every chance I get. I love this feeling of changing seasons! So exciting for all the things to come! Here's some pics!

Contemplating a jump or a dive?

Cute Little Sophers trying to make a splash.

21 weeks and still feeling great. Check out the pointy tummy!

This is the only book she ever wants to read 'Curious George'

Oh my could this be real?

No, no it is not. Purely staged, but what good actors!

20 Bags in 20 Days

2011-03-09T13:06:00.000-08:00

I got this idea from a blog post that someone posted on facebook. I like the idea. I have already started it a while ago, but I think I can still be able to purge a bunch of stuff everyday for 20 days. A way of de-culttering my life one day at a time. The original blog was titled "40 Bags in 40 Days", as a way of celebrating Lent. I just don't think I can come up with 40 things. If I can do this in just 20 days then I think that my house will look a lot better and I will feel a lot better about things! It also feels manageable and realistic. Go me!

Day 1: Car
Day 2: Brielle's Room
Day 3: My Room
Day 4: Sophie's Room
Day 5: Linens Closet
Day 6: Kitchen Cupboards
Day 7: Pantry
Day 8: Cleaning Closet
Day 9: Bathroom
Day 10: Living Room (tv stand)
Day 11: Front Entry Way (organize more than declutter)
Day 12: Kitchen drawers
Day 13: Storage Area
Day 14: Kids Toy Area
Day 15: Dining Room
Day 16: Kids Craft Area
Day 17: Yard! (Provided the weather is okay)
Day 18: Garage
Day 19: Garage
Day 20: Garage (It's going to be a BIG job!).

Pretty Sundays

2011-03-07T16:08:00.000-08:00

Not much to share, other than the fact that girls are so much fun to dress up! New dresses means fun photo op. Not quality photos obviously because they are inside and I suck at indoor pictures (and my house is always messy in them), but they are still cute, obviously because of the models. Enjoy!

New Family Member

2011-03-04T21:32:00.001-08:00

Meet Henry II, he is the newest member of our family. We had a Henry I, but he was a nasty, evil little thing, so I took him back complaining of being sold a devilish rodent. Henry II is a much kinder and gentler hamster. He doesn't bite and is really good with the girls. Sophie has even attacked the poor thing once and he still didn't bite! So far we have only had one incident with his escape, but that got figured out quickly. Oh the fun things we take on in life. As if I didn't have enough to deal with already, but like my kids, it helps that he is cute.

Why I am a Mom

2011-02-22T20:11:00.000-08:00

A lot of my closest friends have the same sick sense of humour as I do, so I know that when they (you) read the title of this are thinking exactly what I think they (you) are thinking. That is NOT what I mean. I know it is obvious "how" I became a mom, but besides the obvious "how" it happened... I feel like talking about "why".

This is something I am very confident about. Don't get me wrong, there are moments where I run into the whole "What have I gotten myself into" frame of mind... but that is different. Being a mom is hard on so many levels, but it is very clear to me why I am doing this. It is the most important job in the world and the most rewarding. As a human I have felt enormous changes in a lot of my characteristics. Being a mom has made me more vulnerable, more patient and impatient, more loving, more neurotic, more scared of the world, more hope in the world, and more in tune with my protective and controlling nature. I have learned so much about who I am, and who I can be. I am so grateful for these changes and I am working so hard at working with them and embracing them, rather than being afraid of them.

Children are born into this world, in my opinion, not as a blank slate, rather as a little being bursting with personality and life. They can be mold-able to an extent, but mostly they are who they are and it is a family effort to adjust and work with them to help them through this crazy unforgiving world. I love discovering my little ones and figuring out their personalities. I get scared a lot in that process, but for the most part I find it exciting. I look forward to see how it changes and adapts as time goes on. But as a mom, I feel it is important to be the constant one always there to assist and support in those changes. After all, we all know that it is never fun going through major changes in ourselves alone.

Children are innocent and so pure. They are the ultimate examples to us adults who so quickly forget what life really is all about! They see things in a simple way. Where as we adults seem to like to complicate things. They can teach us so much. As a mom I am here to learn from them and improve myself through their example.

I am a mom because I feel it an important duty to bring sweet spirits into this world and help them to find their way in it. I am a mom because I can teach love and express it in a way that a child knows. It is my unspoken language that even the newest of babies can understand immediately.

I am a mom because I know it is something I was built to do. I didn't always feel this or like the idea, but as I got older, I listened to my body and I listened after my prayers each night. Bringing children into this world and raising them in a matter of pure, unconditional love and patience (this is something I have to really work at) is the most important thing I can ever do in this world, despite what anyone else says. As much as I hate the term "Children are our future" because of its redemptive expectations on our youngest, (its like saying, here kids, you get big and strong and smart so you can fix what we screwed up). I do think that by raising loving, smart, kind, and self-confident children, it ultimately helps to make that good change in the world we need.

I feel as though society undervalues moms, especially stay-at-home moms. I believe that dedicated and loving moms (and dads) are the most important people in our society and should be something valued and encouraged. It would solve a lot of problems in our world if they were!

Lastly, I am a mom because I love my children. This love is beyond what I can express in words. It is the strongest and most powerful feeling that I have ever and will ever experience and I am very confident about that! I never realized the capacity of love that I could hold inside me, until I had my first. It was unfathomable that it could grow anymore, until the birth of our second. Can it swell even more in July? I can't wait!

I am a mom because I love it and this is what I love to do. It is hard, it is exhausting, it stretches me beyond my limits at times, but it is the most rewarding and unbelievably fulfilling role I have ever experienced and I wouldn't ever change it. Ever.

Update on my 101 things to do in 1001 days.

2011-02-17T18:20:00.000-08:00

So here it is again. Don't worry, you don't have to read through it, but if you feel like it I would love for you to and if there is something in there you want to help me do then let me know and plan it! I need all the help I can get! I have marked off quite a bit in the last while and it feels so good. I have to revise and change some of my goals due to logistics and interest, some I just put there because I had a hard time coming up with 101 things I wanted to do!

Travel
1. Take a road trip to Drumheller and show Brielle the Dinosaur museum.
2. ~~Visit the James’ in Prince George.~~
3. Go to Utah for General Conference.

(#2- Christmas in Prince George with the James!)
Food
4. Make a gourmet four-course meal from a cookbook.
5. ~~Learn how to cook from my food storage.~~
6. Buy a grinder of some sort and learn how to grind my wheat.
7. ~~Make a fondant cake.~~
8. ~~Have a brunch between General Conference sessions.~~
9. ~~Make a seasonal treat.~~
10.~~Learn how to substitute sugar in baking with healthier alternatives.~~
11. ~~Create weekly meal plans.~~
12. ~~Make 10 new baking recipes.~~
13. ~~Make 10 new dinner recipes.~~
14. ~~Go to Coras for breakfast.~~
15. ~~Have a crab/seafood dinner.~~

(#9- Seasonal Treat- Valentines Black Forest Cake mmmm)

Health
16. Sign up and participate in an exercise class.
17. Go out on a photography day trip.
18. Go skiing with Nathanael.
19. Learn how to do the front stroke.
20. Try acupuncture.
21. Run in a 10K race.
22. Find a jogging buddy.
23. Read a book on health.
24. ~~Reach my goal weight.~~
25. See a naturopathic doctor and get a nutrition plan.
26. Make something for Sophie (like Brielle's cross-stitched blanket I made her).

Creative
27. ~~Start using my blog.~~
28. Write a song.
29. Draw a picture.
30.Take a belly dancing class.
31. Chart Brielle/Sophie memories.
32. ~~Write and complete my labour stories.~~
33. ~~Make an item of jewelry.~~
34. Learn how to use a sewing machine.
35. ~~Print out some of my photos and frame them.~~
36. ~~Buy a wacom tablet.~~

In Interest of Others
37. ~~Drop off cookies or baked goods to people in my ward.~~
38.~~Baby-sit for someones kids.~~
39. Surprise someone with an unexpected gift.
40. ~~Volunteer as a facilitator for Suicide Services.~~
41. ~~Make cookies for my neighbors.~~
42. ~~Make a cake for Heidi.~~
43. Send flowers to a friend for no reason.
44. Collect old family stories for my girls.
45. Donate blood again.
46. ~~Write my brother a nice letter.~~
47. Decorate Nathanael's office.
48. Send a gift and letter to our World Vision child.
49. ~~Have a fun night out with my YW counselors.~~
50. ~~Invite a family from the ward (we don't know well) over for dinner.~~
51. ~~Donate toys Brielle Sophie don't use.~~
52. ~~Buy my nephews a gift.~~
53. ~~Have Porter over to play.~~
54. Write my midwives a thank you letter.

(#40- Volunteering a suicide bereavement group facilitator)

Family
55. ~~Take Brielle out on a mommy/Brielle only date.~~
56. ~~Take Sophie out on a mommy/Sophie only date.~~
57. Come up with and take Nathanael on a unique, day-long date.
58. ~~Take Brielle to a fun class like gymnastics or swimming.~~
59. Get the girls babysat for a night and have a night alone with Nathanael at a nice hotel.
60. Go fishing with Nathanael.
61. ~~Create a Blessings board for my family.~~

(#55- Brielle and Mommy's date in September)

Education
62. ~~Go to my convocation.~~
63. Retake a child development class.
64. Take a drawing class.
65. ~~Take a parenting class.~~
66. ~~Finish my practicum.~~
67. ~~Get my degree.~~
(#62- my convocation in June... I'm a grad!)

Entertainment
68. Go to a Flames game.
69. Make a list of 5 movies I want to see and watch them.
70. Make a list of 5 books I want to read and read them.
71. See a GOOD opera with Nathanael.
72. Suck it up and learn how to wake board.
73. Take a photography class.
74. Go fishing with my dad.

Home
75. Actually learn how to change a tire.
76. Label all old photos.
77. Organize a memory box of Jodi's stuff.
78. ~~Put Jodi pictures up.~~
79. ~~Scan the rest of the old family pictures.~~
80. Print and frame photos from Mexico.
81. ~~Do a budget night with Nathanael.~~
82. Start my genealogy (track it down from family).
83. Organize and chart my food storage.
84. ~~Back up all family photos.~~
85. ~~Buy a milk steamer.~~
86. Buy a popcorn air popper.
87. Buy a sewing machine.
(#79- scan the rest of the old family photos- I'm the spider monkey... err baby on the right)

Self
88. ~~Get a pedicure.~~
89. ~~Buy a dress I love.~~
90. Buy a new outfit I love.
91. Go to a Tom Jones Concert again and throw panties on the stage!!!
92. ~~Stop using Facebook for a week.~~
93. ~~Get my hair cut short.~~
94. ~~Get a 90 minute massage.~~
95. ~~Track my weight loss (before/after picture/measurements).~~

Spiritual
96. Read the Book of Mormon
97. ~~Read the YW's manuals and all the books for the calling.~~
98. Complete the Virtue in personal progress.
99.~~Go to the temple.~~
100.Do Jodi and Nana's temple work.
101. Read 3 church books (ex: If Life wasn't Hard it Wouldn't be Easy).

Don't Eat the Yellow Snow!

2011-02-12T20:57:00.000-08:00

There was a lot of snow eating today... of the white kind, don't worry. But I will be honest, after watching all this snow eating, it tempted me so I lifted my head once or twice to taste it as well! It was fun! I love how children seem to know how to really enjoy life to its fullest.

It was a great day in Kananaskis Country today with family and even though we left the sunshine in Calgary, we got to really enjoy a beautiful winter country where the trees were not just frosted, but covered in snow! It was that deep snow you sink into and the best kind to have a real snow ball fight! It was the perfect day!

Four! Really??

2011-02-01T22:17:00.000-08:00

I can't seem to wrap my mind around it. She was a little toddler babbling away, mispronouncing her 'r's, learning to use the potty. It wasn't that long ago! It wasn't even that long ago that we were swinging her 180 degrees (no exaggeration) to get her to sleep as a baby. And then today I was laying on the couch and just about fell off it when I saw her. I swear she grew an inch since the last time I saw her (2 minutes ago). It is so cliche, but they seriously grow too fast! I get so scared, she is a child now, no longer a baby or toddler. She is moving more into the (scary) world and learning what it is all about. I want to keep her the naive and innocent toddler she used to be, so I can protect her and keep her out of danger.

She is wonderful though. I keep having these moments where I catch my breath because I can't believe that one, I made her (I guess with some help, but it had to be mostly me, because she looks and acts more like me :) ) and two, I can't believe how intelligent and precious she is. Not precious in the "I want to squeeze your cheeks" kind of way, the kind where some of the things she says melts me, and makes me smile. She is sweet, and honest and funny. The looks she gives, the feelings and wonders she expresses. She is amazing.

She is going to be four... FOUR! In four days, my baby will be four. When did this all happen? I might need some therapy after her birthday, I think the shock will hit even harder on Saturday. But truly looking forward to the coming years. We won't be putting her into Kindergarten until she is 5, so that isn't for another year and a half, but I imagine that won't be too long since these last four years have flown by!

Facts about Brielle: She hates mushrooms with a burning passion. She does not like the word "BAD". She loves to cuddle. She is affectionate. She already knows how to add! She enjoys learning. She has friends and is still learning how to be a friend. She loves easily. And she sometimes like to slip random toys into the fridge purely to watch her mom freak out! :)

How did we get so lucky?

Happy Birthday Brielle! You are one of the biggest blessings in our lives. We truly are so lucky to have you! We love you!

What Am I Going To DO With Her???? po

2010-12-05T14:11:00.000-08:00

(The "po" was from Sophie during a keyboard attack, I thought it be fitting to keep it in the post).

An average day with Sophie sounds something like this... ahem....

Mom: "Sophie where are you, why is it so quiet? ... Sophie?? NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Mom: "Sophie don't touch that, Sophie seriously, please don't touch that... SOPHIE! SOOOPPPHHHIEEE... sighhhh"

Mom: "Sophie no... no... no! SOPHIE! time out." (followed by high pitched screaming)

OR

Sophie: "UH OH!" (followed by either a crash noise, splash noise, or power outage).

Anyone want an 18 month old? She's super cute, you'd love her! Free of charge. :) JUST KIDDING! We'll keep her, she's our little Destructor... her calling in life I am sure will be something in demolition.

Little Friends

2010-11-16T21:35:00.001-08:00

Do you remember your first real friend? Not the kind your parents pretended you were when you were 6 months old, but the first one you really connected with, loved, and thought about often. Brielle has her first real friend (Cailyn) and it is the cutest thing to be around! She calls her to tell her she loves her, asks her what she is eating, invites her to play princess or whales (they pretend to be whales, it's REALLY annoying as they have mastered the actual whale noise).

I can see Brielle trying to figure out how friendship works and I can see that she is really valuing what she has. Obviously she isn't valuing it on an adult level, but she often expresses how happy she is when she is with Cailyn. The girls have it right because every time they say goodbye, they tell each other they love each other (no matter what went on during their time together) all the while giving each other the biggest hug! Usually they are crying because they just don't want the fun to end. I remember that, and sometimes I still feel that way around my friends, but I sometimes have the self control to keep from crying ;).

Here's some pictures of the two, I just think they are so freaking cute! Cailyn is the reason Brielle is in princess gear, she's making up for what her mom has neglected to teach her :) Thanks a lot Cailyn! Such good little buddies though, always together, always so happy together! What a blessing! Makes me miss being little again.

Some Recent Photos

2010-11-08T12:00:00.000-08:00

I am finally starting to print some of my photos for my house! They are looking so good, it feels more like home now that we have little bits of our special moments on our walls!

I can't believe how many photos I have taken since getting my new camera. I absolutely love using my camera, there are times where I wake up and have this creative desire and I swear I can hear my camera calling me!!! (I think I am going crazy).

Anyway I have spent a lot of time practicing and trying new things. Some great families asked me to take their photos this fall, and I have actually been asked to photograph a formal event for Woods Homes this month! They are the place I did my final practicum at. It is flattering to be asked, it gives me some confidence in myself as I can be pretty hard on myself.

Here are some photos I did recently, I realized I put them on facebook, but not my blog. Some of the black and whites are the ones that made it blown up on my walls and they look SO cute! I can't wait to print more!

Have you ever seen so much attitude before? No wait, don't answer that, I know what you are going to say!

It took me about 20 minutes to curl her hair like this. Isn't it cute?

Sweet sisters :)

Pain

2010-10-14T23:00:00.000-07:00

Lately Brielle and I have been discussing things that are on a very deep level... possibly too deep for her to understand, but it seems to be repeating itself a lot with her lately. The topic is pain. In specific the type of pain that is temporary but serves a good purpose in the long run. I recently decided that I felt comfortable to now go ahead with (most) of the girls' vaccinations. I had Sophie done first on the tuesday (her 2 month shots) and then Brielle on the Thursday (part of her 1 year shots). So I felt like I needed to prepare her for those needles ahead of time so that she didn't lose trust in me, thinking any place I was going to bring her was going to result in strange people poking her with sharp objects.

I explained that she would get needles that would give her a poke in her arms, and that they would hurt a little, but if she let it happen, it would keep her healthy and strong. She understood that there was medicine in the needles that would make her better for the future. She was amazing with the shots, cried a lot, but then explained to me after that the needle "pokes" are good and will keep the medicine in her body to make her healthy. She's so smart.

Today she has a rash and I had to clean it because she got it dirty. Obviously it killed to be wiped, but I had to do it to keep it from getting worse. We had a similar discussion, explaining that sometimes things hurt to make things better. It is such a hard concept for little kids (and most teenagers, and some adults) to get, especially ones as young as Brielle. But she understood. She told me she didn't like it, but she knew it needed to be done to make her rash get better.

Sometimes... err OFTEN as a mom I find that I see certain situations and then connect and imagine similar situations in the future. Some I don't want to see, but I know are important. Like the pain ones. She is going to come to a time in the future where she will have to re-realize that somethings in life will require immediate pain in order to create a positive and healthy future. I picture the first time a boyfriend breaks up with her or rejects her and breaks her heart. She won't realize in that moment that it will be for a good reason, that that experience will be one of the guiding markers in her future to someone or something better for her.

Or a time where she is faced with a temptation as a teenager like with drugs or alcohol. She will have to make a decision on what she wants. Turning it down may be a sting from peers, but will keep her safe and on the right path in the long run.

It is hard to say what experiences will give her these realizations, but I know that this particular "pain" realization is one of the most important ones and one that I so badly want my girls to learn (hoping it will not be by the hard way). The world is not easy and can be so incredibly cruel at times, but it can also be so wonderful and so joyous and so moving if we travel in the right direction through life.

I do and I don't look forward to watching my girls grow up. I remember how it was for me, and it was not easy. But I am grateful now for all the growing I did because of who I am and where I am today. It was awkward, confusing, frustrating and painful at times, but those feelings are what brings the most growth if we choose to use them to better ourselves. Like I said, short term pain, long term gain (okay so I didn't say it like that, but I meant it!).

I love my life, and my family. I am so grateful for my girls and my husband. It is moments like there where I need to re-evaluate MY life and decide if I am traveling on the right path, because I know that my actions as a parent speak louder than my words. I want them to learn the most important things, and I need to be sure I am a living, breathing, walking, talking, laughing, happy example of these things! Man the responsibility of a parent, why didn't anyone warn me of these things!?? This is hard! But gonna say it again, soooo blessed!

Raw

2010-10-14T18:46:00.001-07:00

I have that burning feeling between my chest and throat that makes me feel like I am about to either burst into tears, or beat up my pillow. I get frustrated lately because I want to post different pictures of my sister but I can't really find anything. It makes me realize that I did not spend enough time with her. We didn't always get along that well growing up or even as adults. We loved each other very much, but we have always clashed. I wish I was more patient and more understanding. I wish I was so much more for her. I can't get it out of my head, 3 years later, I will always feel guilty, it will never leave. I miss her and wish I was better for her. I still can't believe she is gone. I feel so alone in all of this, I always have. I want someone to go through this with me.

I have so many flaws that I know so many see. I want to badly to be different and so badly for people to see me for the good and not the flaws. I know I am a good person, but I also know I have negative things about me that for some reason are there. I'm defensive, insensitive, jealous, angry, weak, and sometimes careless. I know these things about myself and so badly want to change them and found that when I lost Jodi, that I can't help but always see them in me. I also am extra sensitive and defensive when others point them out in me. It gets frustrating.

I'm feeling blank lately, just wanting to make sense of the world and my place in it. I think every person goes through this feeling at least a handful of times in their lifetime. It's not a bad thing, it makes me reevaluate my life and (hopefully) better it. I need to steer closer to the things and people that direct me to the right path. I need to stop focusing on the bad in me and be proud of the good. I need a smack on the back of the head to shake me out of this. Perhaps it is just this time of year sneaking up on me. It would just be easier if I could go back and fix everything, and avoid bringing on the bad that I now possess.

Anyone ever feel like this? Or am I strange? ... I have come to understand that there is no such thing as normal in anyone. It's normal to be abnormal. But it is nice, at least, to relate to someone.

Ronald McDonald House Charity Event

2010-10-02T20:02:00.000-07:00

I feel like I need to disclaimer that my photos were taken with my little canon, so not so clear looking.

We had such a fun day at the Ronald McDonald House 25th Anniversary charity event today. It was hours of activities with the kids which included: face painting, horse back riding, fun games, a magic show by Ronald McDonald, and craft tables. It was AWESOME! Both girls had so much fun. For me it was special because I was able to reconnect with some people I worked with and got to see some of the families I worked with as well! It was touching to see how the house has affected their lives. It is a wonderful charity, that if you are ever looking for a way to give back, whether it be money, your time, or your talents, think of them, they can always use your help!
Oh and I should say that we also got to enjoy a private concert by some big country singers! Jake Matthews (who I love), Gil Grant, and others. We had so much fun!
Here's some pictures of our day!

#65 of my 101 things- Take a Parenting Class

2010-09-29T21:28:00.000-07:00

I took TWO! I'm such a keener! But in all seriousness, here is why I wanted to take a class so badly... because I am a terrible parent and I am screwing my kids up. JUST KIDDING. Well sort of kidding, I don't think I am a bad parent but I think I can be sooo much better and I think I may be mildly screwing my kids up, but who the heck isn't? I've never met a perfect parent, but I have seen some who are really good at it. My kids deserve the best, and my ultimate goal is to raise them to be kids with high self esteem, confidence, who know how to show respect and also know they also deserve it, and to help them to become the best people they can be. But let's face it, we all know the ultimate reason is because I absolutely love my kids. I am not a natural mom, meaning that this all does not come easy for me. Especially staying home with them 24/7. I need all the help I can get and I am not too scared or prideful to admit that!

So I went to a free class run through the hospital and Families Matter (http://www.familiesmatter.ca/). It was called "Calm in Times of Chaos: Understanding Toddler Tantrums and Power Struggles". I loved it, and found I spent the whole time jotting down realizations I had and things I just really didn't want to forget. They used such good examples to relate the teachings. It was all about understanding the developmental stage the child is at and pinpointing the reason they are acting the way they are. I loved it.

Then tonight I was lucky enough to attend a positive parenting class put on by Brilliant Beginnings (http://www.brilliantbeginnings.ca/). It summed up a lot of what the other class was about, but went a bit deeper. It challenged me to think about what discipline is and WHY we discipline. Do we discipline for control, safety, etc? Is discipline a punishment purpose or is it a teachable moment? Brilliant! This class focused on the the teachable moments. It talked about time outs and what they actually teach kids. I never really thought about this stuff, I just saw time outs on super nanny and figured that was the way to go. But now I understand how they don't really get to the source of the problem, rather just punish the child for the behaviour. Does this make sense? Anyway, it is something that should be researched deeper. I don't know if I will eliminate time outs completely, but it got me thinking. If you are curious about it, check out the links and do some research on positive parenting, it is really interesting. Brilliant Beginnings also has baby and toddler classes that are run by some pretty amazing people. I'm trying to find a way to get Sophie in one that works with our schedule.

I don't know if I will take everything they taught to my house, but I am definitely using a lot of their strategies and I have a good appreciation for understanding what the toddler must be going through or the developmental level they are at. It gives more understanding into why they act the way they do.

So now watch me go... I'm going to be SUPER MOM! The best mom in the whole world! My kids will be perfect angels walking with confidence through this world, and clinging to every word. I can just see how magical the teenage years are going to be now that I am all geared up! (Do you sense the sarcasm? Well you should!). Not totally sarcastic I suppose, I feel positive about all that I learned and I think that it is going to significantly improve the girls' lives, and ours (the parents). I am happy having some more ideas under my belt, I think this is a start to an improvement that my kids deserve, don't you?

It always feels good to scratch another off my list. And this is one I think needs to be constantly revised and revisited. Parenting is the most undervalued job in the world, and yet it is the hardest and most important! I think that we need to keep educating ourselves as well as taking a step back and evaluating how we are doing with it all. Hopefully I keep it up.

Here's some photos of two of the cutest people on the planet. Not the best photos but I think they are cute!

Brielle was challenged to a race by this guy on our walk through Confederation Park. She won, but I think he let her. :)

Sophie and her shadow buddy.

Latest Family Shoots

2010-09-27T22:34:00.000-07:00

Here are some of the family photo shoots I have been doing. I think I am slowly improving each one. I seem to realize some crucial mistakes I make each one, but luckily the photos still turn out nicely in the end and the families seem to be happy with them. I need to figure out good lighting to shoot in, you'll see some harsh light on some. I am still happy with them though and as you will see, both of these families consist of ridiculously good looking people (ever seen zoolander?). I love taking family photos and especially single and couple portraits. SO much fun! Anyway, here's a bit of what I've done:

For Sophie...

2010-09-23T10:03:00.001-07:00

Dear Sophie,

I am writing this while listening to you babble away in your crib. You are SUPPOSED to be napping right now so that you are rested enough to come shopping with me while Brielle is in preschool, somehow I don't think that the shopping trip will be too successful now.

You are 16 months old now and I am loving this time we have to really get to see and understand your little... scratch that, BIG personality! There are moments I have where I think 'Oh boy, are we in for it in the teenage years!'. You are this sweet and mischievous little thing who can't be left alone for a minute! I don't know how you do it, but you seem to find the messiest, most destructive way to pull apart our house in seconds!! You get this look on your face that tells me "DO NOT LEAVE THAT CHILD ALONE! SHE IS UP TO NO GOOD!". It is like a warning label painted on your face.

Sophie I love you so much and I am so thankful for all the moments you give me everyday, especially the ones that leave me smiling on those bad days, or laughing at the most inappropriate times. I love the way you put things over your face and then walk around until you hit a wall and then giggle. I love how you know how to test me, how you will reach your hand out, staring me in the eyes, going to grab something you know you aren't allowed, and the reach toward it, moving closer after every "nooo!!" you hear. You are such a little stinker, but I love it! You have a sense of humour that shines through and cheers people up. i am not sure if you are going to be shy or outgoing, I can see it both, but either way you are going to have a positive effect on people, and nobody will ever forget who you are!

You are your own person and so determined to figure this big world out! I have no doubts that you are going to find your place in it and make such great change in it. People, like you and your sister make it a better and easier place to live in. I am so blessed for you two girls!

I look forward to the coming years to see how your big personality will continue to form and shape, and how it will affect others you will be in contact with.

Thank you for being in my life and for being you. I wouldn't change one thing about you Sophie!

I love you!

Love,

Mumma!

Here are some photos from Saturday: A typical day at the park with you... (PS: the water was FREEZING! and I had to dunk my suede boots in it to catch you, you little stinker!).

Caught you!
(You couldn't just stand BY the water, you had to stand IN it!)

Try to catch me Daddy!!

Holy that is one HOT Family!

2010-09-20T21:13:00.000-07:00

My friends and family always told me that I was modest... whatever :P. I do have a beautiful family and I know it! I am so lucky, I count my blessings everyday! I am also very lucky to have an extremely talented sister who can photograph like no other! Seriously, I think she is the best! I often have to stop looking at her work when I am practicing with my photos because I often feel her level is unachievable for me. She is GOOD.

Anyway, she took our photos today, even though she had 50 other things she could have been doing. It was a cold and wet day, she was watching our nephew (along with her two other boys), and still was willing to do us the favour and take our 2010 family photo. SO grateful for her! YOU HEARD ME HEIDI! YOU!

Anyway, without further ado........our family photos taken by Heidi Allred, edited by me, so if they look off it is my fault! (she is kind enough to let me practice on her photos!).

Jodi

2010-09-17T20:46:00.000-07:00

I miss Jodi today. It's fall and I am pretty sure that for now on, every fall I will think of her and be reminded that she is gone. I used to love the fall, it always felt like the beginning of a new year to me. I loved the colours, the smell of it, and the feel of it. I started this fall loving it again, well actually anticipating loving it. It was like the old habit of getting excited for fall to come, came back to me this year. But now the leaves are changing colours, we're getting frost and the the air is cooler. It brings me back to three years ago when we all lost her. Even if you didn't know my sister, it is still a loss to you, trust me... because you would have LOVED to have met her! She was eccentric and so wonderful. You would have been taken back by her forwardness, but so intrigued by her candid and powerful nature. She was intelligent and beautiful. She was hilarious! She crossed lines with her humour but in a good way (Yes there is such a thing!). She was fearless in so many ways that today still inspire me.

I want her back sooo badly and I am so angry that I can't get my way this one time! She shouldn't be gone, and I am reminded of that today. I hate the leaves, I hate the cold and I hate the feeling I am getting. I hate the finality of death, I know that may sound very juvenile, but it is true. I think that is the thing that frustrates me the most out of life. When someone is gone, they are gone. I know I will see her again, but I don't care about that right now. I want her now, need her now, yearn for her now.

I keep playing everything back and wish I could have said something to her that would have changed it all. Maybe it would not have worked but maybe it would have, at least for that one morning. I wish I called her. This frustration goes beyond any frustration I think I could ever experience again. I want sooo badly to go back, but I can't and I HATE that. I am angry, yes and I'm sorry. I'm not mad at her, God, or anyone. Just the situation, the frustrating, irreversible situation.

I sneak onto facebook lately and I feel like all I see are teenagers and adults making comments that just anger me. Comments about being "emo" and cutting themselves (as a joke apparently because people "lol" to it not sure why it is funny), or wanting to kill themselves (in a joking way... which btw is NEVER funny), some even posting on their statuses that they'd be happier getting hitler back and watching Justin Beiber kill himself. How is this funny? Even if you haven't lost someone this way, it is sick. People are so desensitized that they can talk this way? What is wrong with us all? It disgusts me and offends me and I feel like I can't change that feeling even if I wanted to (which I will never want to).

I may regret posting this, but for some reason this blog and posting things out there is therapeutic for me. I miss my sister and since she died I have chosen to use my grief as a way of helping others and educating others. I am not the best at expressing my passions as they usually come off harsh and personal. I need to work on that. But as I fine tune my passion and work it into something that creates positive change in the world, I know I will continue to improve as a person and improve the lives of others. I have a deep passion to help and after watching my poor sister struggle the way she did through life, I see a gigantic need for more compassionate people. I want to be more compassionate and dedicate myself more to helping others. My grief is a testament to me that others are struggling maybe even worse.

So bear with me this fall.... and every other fall you know me for. It seems to be the worst for me and my family. I try so hard to be positive during it, and put my feelings to good use, but I find I struggle with managing my emotions with it all. I am obviously sensitive to language and things like that, so please PLEASE think before you say something that could possibly open a wound that is already opening this fall. Talk to someone if you are ever struggling, or if you know someone struggling, open yourself to them and be there for them if you can. Don't be afraid to talk about suicide and depression (or any mental health issue). Always make sure the last thing you say to someone you know is something loving. We never, EVER know what life can bring to us. But if we are reaching out always to people and loving them unconditionally, because let's face it, deep down, we are all brothers and sisters. If we are doing that, then could we ever have a regret in life?

Thanks for listening. Here's a song that for some reason came into my life during Jodi's struggles. It was a reminder to me that we have a choice in life, how we want to live it and that we can fight. Ignore the video, just listen to the words.

Love always

Becky

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvukWuNk-CY

Learning Manual

2010-09-14T20:45:00.000-07:00

This is my nephew Eli, I took these using complete manual settings... I think I took 40 of him before I finally got the lighting and focusing on him right. I don't think they are amazing and I know there are flaws but I am proud that I actually could take something decent on a wiggly toddler all in manual...I've never done that before! Yay for learning! Thanks for looking, tell me what you think, I can handle critiques (Heidi this means you chickie!).

Why Don't I Drink Coffee?????

2010-09-11T19:45:00.000-07:00

Okay I know why. But SOMETHING would be good right now because I am T-I-R-E-D!!! Oh I know what I need---> sleep! I will do that next. Anyway, we have one more week and then Nathanael comes home! I can't wait! I miss him so much and so do the girls. I think I have felt fine the last two weeks for the most part, but now I am about ready for a little break. I just want a teeny break where I can get out of the house, blare my music, not deal with kids, not have to look at my messy house, just some me time. I don't need it desperately, it would just be nice. But I am almost there! I tried to go out last night, and when my babysitter showed up Brielle flipped out! I spent 30 minutes trying to calm her down, but it wouldn't work, so I ended up taking her with me, all the while choking back the tears that were welling up. I was so frustrated, but I still had a good night. But now I feel that even if I had the opportunity to get me time, I don't think Brielle would let me right now and I don't want to leave her upset because she is already feeling pretty abandoned by Nathanael. So I will just stick it out this last week we have left.

On a happy note: Brielle had her first swimming lessons today without parents! I watched her from the bleachers and I was totally one of those loud and proud moms! I couldn't help but cheer for her when she put her face in the water or when she let go of the wall and did a back float (with the life jacket on of course). She was in a class full of boys, and where half were freaking out because of the lessons. She was so brave and did such a great job.

I am also starting to really realize what a little trouble maker Sophie is becoming. She gets into everything. The other day she found a big bag full of those teeny beads and tore the bag open and then threw them over the kitchen floor. That wasn't enough apparently because while I was trying to clean them up, she would run into the bulk of them and kick them all over the floor. That same day she gets into the bathroom with two socks, dunks them repeatedly into the toilet then pulls them out and does a windmill, spinning them and flinging the toilet water all over the bathroom and soaking herself. THEN today she tries to get at this picture frame she is always obsessed with. I was watching her doing it and saying the typical 'no's' to her and throwing out threats and all sorts (just kidding, sorta :P), well she looks me in the eyes, reaches over and grabs it, it falls... glass comes out... lands on her foot... slices the inside of her baby toe, top of it to the crease between the two toes. That will teach her! Just kidding, I felt bad for her. I hate this age where you can't really explain what consequences mean.

I love my little kidlets but man do they ever exhaust me! Haha. I'm grateful for the time I have had with them and I am also grateful for the help of good friends who have been volunteering to babysit and feed me (I should say babysit my kids, not me, but I think at times I need a sitter too). I am a lucky girl! And despite the tiring weeks, I have actually been enjoying myself, I feel like super mom, I even bought myself rubber gloves with that phrase on them! Here's some photos I have taken recently of awesome people I know. My first family shoot (which was SO much fun, this family is HILARIOUS! I didn't want the photo session to end!). The cute kids in the other photos are my sort of neice and nephew Ali and Hayden. Nathanael's cousin's kidlets, I love these kids to death!!!

Pictures from Today

2010-09-05T21:16:00.000-07:00

What Day is it?

2010-09-02T21:19:00.000-07:00

I must say, I really cherish my nights lately! I love the break I have, just vegging and not thinking about anything. Nathanael is full on in his program and I think he is feeling the stress pretty hard. I feel bad for him, part of me wishes I could jump in and help him with it all, but alas, I am not a business mind. I don't really care for ever making money honestly, haha. Poor Nathanael. But I think despite the stress of it all, he is really enjoying the classes and the learning atmosphere. I think it is such a good thing for him and we are both pretty grateful he has this opportunity. He is going to do great. Did I mention that he won an entrance award already? What can I say, I married a smart man! I miss him a lot though. The house isn't the same without him, it's not as fun. The girls sure miss him too.

Sad story: I was in Zellers today and a middle aged, balding man walked passed us today and Sophie started screaming in pure excitement "DADDY!!! DAAADDDY!" All the while throwing herself out of the stroller after! She then stopped and looked confused as her 'Daddy' completely ignored her and continued on up the escalator. Poor little thing :( But on a funny note, the man she was screaming to had this "Don't make any eye contact" look to him and quickened his pace as she screamed for him. Haha.

Another sort of sad story... mmm actually chaotic is more like it: Brielle was sitting on the couch today just staring out the window when her arm slipped and her face smashed into the window sill. She banged her teeth pretty good, and I think that is what hurt the most. What was more traumatic for her and I was the gush of blood coming from her mouth! It took five minutes for the blood to slow down for me to see the damage. You know that piece of skin that attaches your upper lip to the front of your gums? Well she managed to split that into two. She sliced it from top to bottom and now she has two thin pieces connecting to her lip! The cut is definitely deep enough to get stitches, but when I spoke to a dr. about it, he said that it isn't something that they could stitch unless they put her under (we all know how squirmy and irrational 3 year old can be right?). So we have to leave it and hope it doesn't get infected. But I think she will be just fine, she's just sore from it all and she has one angelina jolie lip on the top. ALMOST looks like a platipus! My question though is, how the heck do you keep an injury in the mouth clean? It's not like I feed her poop or anything (oh yea I just went there), but seriously... she won't garggle salt water, she won't even let me look at the wound! What should I be doing?

Anyway, there's my vent for the day. Not really a vent, but it felt like one in the sense that I got something off my chest. I'm grateful for my kids, love them to death. I'm so lucky to be married to such a loving man, and I am blessed to live in such a comfortable house and safe country. I also have a great family (extended and immediate) and friends. I don't have much more to ask for. I have a pretty great life.

Hope you enjoy the photos, just a few of the going ons of our life lately. They (like the last few posts) have been taken with my point and shoot, so don't judge the photos-just enjoy their cuteness! And sorry for the vain self portraits, it is the only way I can really ever get a picture of myself!

Love

Becky

It's Been a Long Day

2010-08-30T20:25:00.000-07:00

I am so tired. I know, I know, go to bed. But I haven't had much for interaction today, I just want to write this stuff out!. My day started out with visiting teaching, but I had to rush through all three visits because I needed to get Brielle (who was at a friend's house). I have spent the day catering to the girls' needs, and since going off facebook and removing myself from spending hours on the computer, I am left to be a good, attentive mom, which is proving to be much more challenging than I may have conceived when I chose to make that change. But I am just going to say it, being a mom is not easy. It is more rewarding than challenging, but at the same time, it is so full with moments of frustration and confusion that I just find I am constantly being disappointed with myself. I wish I were better at it.

I miss Nathanael.

I think I have always appreciated him, but I don't know if I have really fully appreciated all he does for us, for me. It is really hard doing this all on my own, but it shows me how good I have it when he is around. But he is only gone for three weeks, so I can do this.

Back onto why my day has been so long... Brielle is in a bad phase where she is constantly pushing Sophie, stealing her toys, saying mean things, glaring at her, and just plain going out of her way to make Sophie miserable. This is really bothering me and I find that I am spending all my time yelling at her. I don't want to be that kind of mom, but I just don't know how else to deal with her! I hate that all she gets from me is negative, negative, NEGATIVE reinforcement. I am just really struggling and I need some sort of trick in how to fix this. It also doesn't help that I am feeling the pressure of being alone in all of this right now and just so badly wanting to do it right. But Brielle and Sophie deserve better, so I need to search out better techniques, because screaming and yelling never really solves anything.

Anyway, I am jumping all over the place here, but this was my day. It still hasn't ended, Sophie is screaming in her crib at the moment (it's going on 3 hours of it) and she won't settle. I just want sleep.

I'm excited for tomorrow though, it is a brand new day, I will start fresh, try again and be the best mom I know I can be. I just love my girls to death, and I would do anything for them. I also know I am very blessed and that I don't have it that bad. These are just small moments that will pass and I believe that.

I'm not sure if anyone even reads my blog, either way thanks for listening.

Becky

Recap on my 101 in 1001 Days

2010-08-26T20:46:00.000-07:00

Nathanael has been bugging me for a while to update my list, I have had to change it up a bit from the original because of spelling mistakes and repeats, so I will post the updated list and start posting updates about some of the significant accomplishments.

Here it goes!

Travel
1. Take a road trip around Southern Alberta and get to know what that’s all about!
2. Visit the James’ in Prince George.
3. Go to Utah for General Conference.

Food
4. Make a gourmet four-course meal from a cookbook.
5. Learn how to cook from my food storage.
6. Buy a grinder of some sort and learn how to grind my wheat.
7. ~~Make a fondant cake.~~
8. Have a brunch between General Conference sessions.
9. Make a seasonal treat.
10.Learn how to substitute sugar in baking with healthier alternatives.
11. ~~Create weekly meal plans.~~
12. Make 10 new baking recipes a year.
13. Make 10 new dinner recipes a year.
14. ~~Go to Coras for breakfast.~~
15. ~~Have a crab/seafood dinner.~~

Travel
16. Sign up and participate in an exercise class.
17. Go out on a photography day trip.
18. Go skiing with Nathanael.
19. Learn how to do the front stroke.
20. Try acupuncture.
21. Run in a 10K race.
22. Find a jogging buddy.
23. Read a book on health.
24. ~~Reach my goal weight.~~
25. See a naturopathic doctor and get a nutrition plan.
26. Make something for Sophie (like Brielle's cross-stitched blanket I made her).

Creative
27. ~~Start using my blog.~~
28. Write a song.
29. Draw a picture.
30.Take a belly dancing class.
31. Chart Brielle/Sophie memories.
32. ~~Write and complete my labour stories.~~
33. ~~Make an item of jewelry.~~
34. Learn how to use a sewing machine.
35. Print out some of my photos on canvases.
36. ~~Buy a wacom tablet.~~

In Interest of Others
37. Drop of cookies or baked goods to people in my ward.
38.~~Baby-sit for someones kids.~~
39. Surprise someone with an unexpected gift.
40. ~~Volunteer as a facilitator for Suicide Services.~~
41. ~~Make cookies for my neighbors.~~
42. ~~Make a cake for Heidi.~~
43. Send flowers to a friend for no reason.
44. Collect old family stories for my girls.
45. Donate blood again.
46. Write my brother a nice letter.
47. Decorate Nathanael's office.
48. Send a gift and letter to our World Vision child.
49. Have a fun night out with my YW counselors.
50. Invite a family from the ward (we don't know well) over for dinner.
51. ~~Donate toys Brielle Sophie don't use.~~
52. ~~Buy my nephews a gift.~~
53. Have Porter over to play.
54. Write my midwives a thank you letter.
Family
55. Take Brielle out on a mommy/Brielle only date.
56. ~~Take Sophie out on a mommy/Sophie only date.~~
57. Come up with and take Nathanael on a unique, day-long date.
58. ~~Take Brielle to a fun class like gymnastics or swimming.~~
59. Get the girls babysat for a night and have a night alone with Nathanael at a nice hotel.
60. Go fishing with Nathanael.
61. ~~Create a Blessings board for my family.~~

Education
62. ~~Go to my convocation.~~
63. Retake a child development class.
64. Take a drawing class.
65. Take a parenting class.
66. ~~Finish my practicum.~~
67. ~~Get my degree.~~

Entertainment
68. Go to a Flames game.
69. Make a list of 5 movies I want to see and watch them.
70. Make a list of 5 books I want to read and read them.
71. See a GOOD opera with Nathanael.
72. Suck it up and learn how to wake board.
73. Take a photography class.74. Go fishing with my dad.

Home
75. Actually learn how to change a tire.
76. Label all old photos.
77. Organize a memory box of Jodi's stuff.
78. Put Jodi pictures up.
79. ~~Scan the rest of the old family pictures.~~
80. Print and frame photos from Mexico.
81. ~~Do a budget night with Nathanael.~~
82. Start my genealogy (track it down from family).
83. Organize and chart my food storage.
84. Back up all family photos.
85. Buy a milk steamer.
86. Buy a popcorn air popper.
87. Buy a sewing machine.

Self
88. Get a pedicure.
89. ~~Buy a dress I love.~~
90. Buy a new outfit I love.
91. Go to a Tom Jones Concert again and throw panties on the stage!!!
92. ~~Stop using Facebook for a week.~~
93. ~~Get my hair cut short.~~
94. ~~Get a 90 minute massage.~~
95. ~~Track my weight loss (before/after picture/measurements).~~

Spiritual
96. Read the Book of Mormon
97. Read the YW's manuals and all the books for the calling.
98. Complete the Virtue in personal progress.
99.~~Go to the temple.~~
100.Do Jodi and Nana's temple work.
101. Read 3 church books (ex: If Life wasn't Hard it Wouldn't be Easy).

Hypochondriac

2010-08-19T19:54:00.000-07:00

Here is a silly and quick video that Brielle and I made together today. We often record ourselves on photobooth and then usually she sits there and laughs at them. Today I was laughing at all of them. I have so much fun with her! Maybe it is just me that finds her last line in this hilarious! Sorry about the distortion at the beginning of the video, it clears up a few seconds into it.

Muffin Tops

2010-08-16T09:43:00.000-07:00

I love baking, more than I love shopping, my new dishes, living by the ocean, sushi, and the twilight series. That's right, I said it! I love the process, the smell of it, the memories it can produce, the excitement it leaves on my children, the end product, and the reactions I get from people I give it to. I find that those days when I am bored or lonely, I am most drawn to baking something new and yummy looking (or sounding). I don't often repeat recipes unless they have absolutely impressed people (or myself, which is VERY rare, almost non existent). But I can confidently say that baking delicious treats and sharing them with others is something that fulfills me!

What I don't like about baking is the result it has on MY body. Why do things that taste SO good have to be so bad for us? I won't get all philosophical or spiritual on you in regards to this subject, but seriously, why? I have been working out 4-5 times a week and see the results in some good ways, but not exactly WHERE I want to see it. I think what would be fair is if we have little buttons we could push that would result in us choosing where the chocolate muffins hit the hardest and where the working out targets the most. If you know me well then you can guess where I pray every day the weight goes to!

But onto the subject of muffin tops now. Why can't I get rid of this? I am doing One hour and a half of cardio 5 days a week and though my weight is coming off, my muffin top remains. If I stand straight up, and my pants aren't tight, then no problems, but as soon as the pants go on and I sit, there comes out the chub. I don't want it on me and I am trying so hard to get rid of it! It has always been my trouble spot (that and my thighs) and this time I am doing something about it! I'm opposed to plastic surgery and thinking that praying for it to melt away is hopeless. I need a new tool, somebody help me! I do crunches, sit ups, hold my core in when I am exercising, leg raises, etc. What else is there? Give it to me straight, what do I need to do? I just want flat, and semi muscular stomach, is that so much to ask.

And if you know what is good for you, don't tell me to give up my baking, this is not a suitable solution and you are wrong!

And you all Make Fun of me for Living in Alberta!

2010-08-11T21:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a perfect day! My sister-in-law Lizzy called and asked me if I wanted to go on a hike with her somewhere out of the city. A long story short, Nathanael hopped on board with us and off we went at 2pm to Sheep River in Kananaskis country (about 30 mins outside of Turner Valley). It was a beautiful day out, the kids had a blast throwing rocks in the water, and we enjoyed the rare laid back atmosphere. The best part of the whole trip was when we stumbled upon four men on horses who let Brielle (and Sophie and Eli) ride their horses! Brielle LOVED riding the big horses and now Nathanael and I are considering putting her into horse riding as a hobby, she just loves horses so much!

The four men asked me to snap a photo of them on their horses in exchange for us using their ranch for a day with the kids! Seemed like a pretty good deal for me.

We ended the fabulous day at Nathanael's Aunt Genvieve and Uncle Nathan's house in Turney Valley for a VERY yummy dinner. We weren't planning on being out so long, and so we didn't plan on eating at her house, but she fed us anyway! So sweet!

Anyway, here are the pics from the day. I obviously used the best picture at the top. That is my nephew Eli, he is VERY expressive as you can tell. He cracks me up.

My pretty little girl in a field of wild flowers

I like this photo, if only the pink sippy cup wasn't in it!
Pretty Lizzy and Eli (who I think is trying to get off that bridge!).
Look how happy she is up there!
"Say Cheeeeeeeeeese Sophie!"
"Hey!!! Don't steal my rock!"
Lizzy, Reuben and Eli (who often tips his hat as a gesture of respect... he's cool that way).
Nathanael and his girls (minus one very important one).
That's a waterfall right in front of her.
And one more time for good luck. This picture makes me laugh so hard.
I loved his yellow pants.
I used to always sit like this.

I've Got Cute Kids... Some Might Say The Cutest.

2010-08-10T18:31:00.000-07:00

I love taking pictures of my kids, but I think it is time I move on to more subjects. Anyone want to volunteer their kids so I can practice? Here's some photos from today. I'm quite happy with most of them.

This might just be my favorite- I finally got a good sky shot, my skies are usually blown out.

Little Pumpkin

The Attitude

Sistas

She's getting so old!

Fun Pictures

2010-08-06T22:22:00.001-07:00

Just a couple fun pictures I took today. Let me know what you think!

Facebook Withdrawal

2010-08-04T20:27:00.000-07:00

How pathetic am I? I'm so mad at myself. I remember in 2007 when I went to Uvic to meet up with some of my CYC buddies and to show off Brielle (who was only 3 weeks at the time). One of them asked me if I was on facebook yet. I had never heard of it before and wanted to join just to be part of the CYC community group. I wish someone had told me in that moment that I was about to embark into a very addictive habit that would affect not only my life, but my kids' lives and husband's. I am a real addict here! It has been three years that I have been addicted to facebook and am angry that I let myself waste so much time that could have been spent on much more important things! But why did I get so sucked into this?

I am pretty sure the reason I am this way is that I am lacking something in my life... maybe even more than one. I am just going to say it: being a stay at home mom is not easy for me, nor is it a natural talent of mine. I really struggle with it and I found that since discovering facebook I have used it to take me away from the realities of my life and in doing so, I have deprived my kids of my attention and slacked in all of the "to do's" in our home. But it helped me to feel like I was still a part of something. I felt like I was still getting adult interaction in a sense and had much more communication with people than I normally would without facebook. Or at least that is what I tell myself.

I can't live like this anymore, it's not healthy and it is not fair to those it is effecting. I pulled myself off of facebook today and had my password changed (by Nathanael of course). I am ready to move forward with my life and provide my kids with a better life where they have their mom's full attention! I created that 101 things to do in 1001 days and I want to get going on that, now that I have more time to spend I can focus on some of those goals!

I decided tonight that I want to run a half marathon again (also on my 101 things to do). I have the stamina to do it and now I have the time to put into it. I hope to run it in October, so I need to start training!!!

I thought I would write these goals out on here so I had some support, though I am not sure if anyone really reads my blog to be honest, which could play out to be a good thing, because if I fail this attempt, then no one can be witness to my failing. JUST KIDDING!!!! (sorta).

Anyway, wish me luck, keep me in your prayers, don't judge me, and maybe even use this as inspiration to start breaking a major habit or working on a huge goal you've been hoping to jump on for a while. Because if anyone who reads this and knows me well, this will be no easy thing for me. I am a TRUE addict, but I do know that anything is possible if the mind is put to it. Cheesy but true. I can do this!

Photos, Photos, Photos!!

2010-07-08T08:42:00.000-07:00

I still love taking pictures and the more I take, the more I realize that there is so much about photography that I just don't get. I need serious help with composition, lighting, and figuring out my camera settings. My cousin in law Jenny asked me to take some head shots of her family for a reunion. That was a great experience because I learned so much. I hope the next time I do something like that I will no make the same mistakes I made. I think the family likes their photos and wants more printed, so that makes me feel good. I made sure they knew not to expect much. I just appreciate people giving me the chance to learn!

My girlfriend Courtney and her fiance, Dola asked me to take their engagement photos. I knew the location I wanted to use, and had an idea of what poses I could do. I spent the day researching techniques and poses, but I still don't think it was enough. I made so many mistakes and was not terribly happy with the outcomes. I know this is a good thing because this is how I learn. I don't think I ever want to be professional where I charge (unless someone is asking for a lot of work and my time), I just enjoy the process of it all. I also don't think I really enjoy taking photos of people as much as I want to become better at landscape. But I will start with people because it is the best way for me to learn for now. Anyway, here are some of the photos I have been taking lately.

OH and PS: I don't know why all my text is underlined and I don't know how to change it. But for some reason none of this is underlined... so annoying.

Thanks to Heidi for fixing this one for me :)

Family Time

2010-07-01T06:59:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes I know what you are thinking, that it has been too long since my last blog. I am sorry, the problem is that I am on facebook WAY too much and feel as though I divulge my every second of life on there, so what the point is there to blogging right?

There has been a lot going on for me in the last while, I finally officially graduated with my Child and Youth Care degree. I am starting to look for either casual work or even some type of volunteer work just to keep my foot in the door in some way. I just don't want to commit to working yet. I feel too lucky to be in a position where I can raise my own kids and be with them every single day.

Nathanael is also hoping to do his MBA this year which pretty much means I will be a single mom for about 15 months while he tackles that. I don't want to work a lot during that time because I think the kids will have a hard enough time not having him around as much. We hopefully find out very soon if he gets accepted and that will mean he either starts this August or in December. I'm dying to know what will happen.

We, or I should say, I really want to buy a house this fall or winter. Nathanael is a little worried about it with school and payments and all. I am just dying to get to that next step in our lives. I want my own place to decorate how I want and to just call our space. I realize how lucky we have been to live in the house we have been living in, but I am just ready for something new. I have never been very good at staying in one place for too long, I often get an itch to make big moves on an impulse.

This weekend I am hosting a family reunion for my mom's side. I have been planning it for over a year and I can't believe it is already arriving! I have been realizing how distant I have become with my family and I just so badly want to change that. In 2007 my Nana and my sister both passed away. That was a hard hit on the family. Then last year I was talking more to my cousins and thought that we would see them this last may, but plans changed and that was canceled. I was sad that I was not going to see them all that May, and wished so badly we could all arrange something else. I spoke to my Aunty Trissy about it and it was her idea to plan a family reunion for around that time. I jumped on it, ran it by everyone and started planning.

It has been really fun talking with all the aunts, uncles and cousins again. I even got to visit with my one cousin Terri and she helped me plan it out. A bunch of cousins can't make it, which makes me sad, but it is understandable when so many live so far away. I am still grateful for those who can make it.

I will post pictures when it is all done. But for now here is a trip back in time... some old pictures I have been going though. Please don't make fun of me too much :)